random cogitationist

Monday Musings - discipulus

2012-02-13T13:00:00.000-05:00

Take a quick browse of my blog and you will very quickly establish that one of the things I've always struggled with is discipline. I see it as something that is super important, but I've never been able to crack it - it always feels so restrictive, so mundane, so "I just have to be more disciplined..."

A few days ago, for no apparent reason, I had this question pop into my head...

"I wonder if disciple and discipline come from the same root word...?"

Digging around led to a discovery that yes, in fact both do come from the same word - discipulus - which in general means "to learn" (you can do further research into the full meanings of both words if you like - I was excited and had enough thoughts from my initial discovery that they were linked...)

I have heard others talk before about different ways we can understand discipline - being disciplined as it relates to getting priorities in order; being disciplined by someone else as punishment; a particular area of learning (the discipline of science, mathematics, ...). In general, though, I've always come back to my short fall of not being disciplined enough, meaning "I need to get my habits in order, set up my schedule and be disciplined in sticking to it, so that I get to the gym the number of times per week I want to, spend time with God, read books, ..."

Disciple, on the other hand has always been a very rich term for me - a lifelong learner, someone under someone else's guidance, not just about learning from an intellectual stance, but learning experientially as well. I love that Jesus uses that as the term to describe the sorts of people he wants us to be.

To recognize that these two are in fact linked is fascinating to me. Is there a possibility that rather than feeling the need to be more disciplined, I need to recognize that in order to continue to learn, to grow, to be a fuller disciple, that's what I'm aspiring to?

It's not about getting my week in order for the sake of being a disciplined person, it's about being a disciple, a learner and setting myself up to keep learning by being in places where I can grow. Maybe I need to invent a new word to help me understand it - disciple-ability; discipline-ness; obviously disciple-ship is out there, too... (but interestingly often has different connotations...)

If I step back and ask the question "In which areas of my life do I want to grow/learn?", that should provide me with some ideas about how I can grow/learn, which then sets priorities and choices... = discipline. Interesting to keep thinking about...

Which word do you resonate with more - disciple or discipline?
Which areas of your life do you feel most excited about learning and growing?
How can you focus more on those areas to grow in your disciple-ability?

Monday Musings - Why does extended excellence bore us?

2012-02-06T13:00:00.000-05:00

I was fascinated with the response leading up to and during the Super Bowl last night. It was amazing to me the number of people who wrote comments along the lines of "I couldn't care less about the Super Bowl this year", often followed by a rationale about why they hate and/or are bored by the Patriots and/or (less so) the Giants.

In the end, it was a fantastic game of football, though I am obviously gutted about the result... Sorry to those who missed out because they were taking a stance on not wanting to watch teams they don't like... it will absolutely go down as one of the great Super Bowls - that catch by Manningham was incredible.

However, my fascination about those comments stems more from why it is that we get so bored by teams and people who live out extended excellence. Let me list a few names... what's your response?

Patriots.
Lakers.
Yankees.
Federer.

Now before you get all steamed up and say "I can't stand the Patriots because they're cheats"; "the Yankees just buy World Series victories"; "Bryant is a jerk"; "Federer is boring"... I want to challenge how many others do the same thing or have similar traits, but we don't care anywhere near as much - we only focus on these teams/people because they excel. A lot. Take a deep breath and really think about whether there is someone you can point to that has been highly successful for a long time and you are happy for them. If so, I'd be interested to know why that's different.

The angst against the Patriots comes from 2 sources - Belichick is a cheat (because of the whole spygate thing) and because Brady is too arrogant/a pretty boy/cheat/his hair is too nice/... As I've mentioned before, I am a Patriots fan, so I'll admit I have some bias. However, the Brady stuff to me is crazy - love him or hate him, he's a guy who was picked 199th, is only as good as he is because he has worked so hard - by his own admission, he's really not that athletic - and it's not like he's had superstars around him every year. In terms of the taping scandal, I can't believe the Pats were the only ones who did it, but even if they were, they were severely punished and now look at what Belichick has done with this year's team of cast-offs and undrafted players. Unpack it with most people and eventually, they'll admit he is actually a pretty good coach.

The reality is that we just get bored when the same team/person is successful all the time and I'm interested in why that is. Sure, most of us want to cheer for the underdog - we love a good story and that's understandable. But there's something in us that starts to believe that people's success is undeserved once they've been at the top for a while. Never mind that they need to keep working just as hard as others to maintain that success (or harder - they suddenly have a target on their back) - we're bored with them winning and look for ways to pull them down. Using Brady as an example again, he was absolutely an underdog when he entered the league, but now he's resented because he's been at the top (or near it...) for so long.

Being perfectly honest, I know this plays out in my own life, too. Rather than cheering on those around me, I can look at ways of tearing them down (even if it's only in my own mind) or getting resentful about why they have all the luck, why they get all the breaks and success while I continue to work away with my head down... As I do that, I miss the incredible blessings that are present in my own life and fail to recognize the sacrifices, discipline and dedication that others have probably put in to get to where they are. To be honest, a lot of the time, I'm just not willing to do the same...

Who are you cheering on to succeed?
Who are you cheering to fail?
What's really at the core of why?

Monday Musings - Why I love the NFL

2012-01-30T14:00:00.000-05:00

[I thought about titling this "Why I love Football", but I knew there would be an uproar from my friends south of the Equator, so NFL it is... and let's not even get started on those who say only the roundball game is truly Football...]

Before we moved to Canada, I had some interest in the NFL. Mostly, that had consisted of watching the Super Bowl, because we didn't really get much access other than that. However, when OneHD launched, suddenly we had the opportunity to watch multiple games each week (fortunately my DVR allowed me to not have to get up at 4 am to watch them...)

Over the last couple of years, watching an NFL game on a Sunday has became a big part of our weekly rhythm - I have certainly enjoyed having Sunday Night Football (or a recording of an earlier game) to help me unwind at the end of a weekend. I have finally become an unabashed Patriots fan (I take quite a bit of criticism for that, but what can you do...?), and so obviously I'm excited about next Sunday's big game... hoping for a reversal of the last time these two teams met on the big stage.

A couple weeks ago I had an opportunity to teach at our site and as part of my message, I mentioned where my love of the NFL has come from. I believe it is one of the greatest examples of a true team sport - where each person who's part of the team needs to play their role for the team to be successful. Sure, there are other sports which have that element (basketball still remains No 1 in our house...), but in many other sports, it's easier for one person to dominate and make a huge difference. In the NFL, each person needs to play their role or there is no chance of team success. Yes, a great QB makes a difference, yes, having incredible TEs can change things, but every player needs to be ready to contribute, no matter their role. The results of last weekend prove the value of a kicker...

Far too often though, we find ourselves thinking about how important we are. Whether that is in our career, our friendships, our churches... if we're honest, a lot of the time, our focus is on ourselves. While it is certainly true that we need to continue to play whatever role we have been given to the best of our ability (particularly if we're in a leadership position), I wonder how much difference it would make if we focused on our role in the context of the team we're playing on - and how we encourage our teammates to be the best they can be as well.

I need to prepare as best I can... for the sake of the team. I need to take care of myself so I'm in good condition... for the sake of the team. I need to be focused on the right things... for the sake of the team. I need to encourage the other people on our team to do their best... for the sake of the team.

I wonder how much difference it would make if we all approached life from that perspective - certainly I'm sure it would mean our motivation would go up at different times (instead of the consequences just being about me, I realize if I make a wrong choice, that affects us all...). At the very least, we would shift the focus from ourselves to those around us and our communities and that in itself is always a good thing.

What teams are you part of?
How much are you performing at your peak for your team?
What can you do this week to increase the contribution you make to your team(s)?

the death of the mega-band?

2011-02-05T17:37:00.000-05:00

I was on my way home this morning and a U2 song came on the radio. I'm not a massive U2 fan - I have been at different times, but I'm not one of those crazy "U2 is the best band in the world" people. However, hearing the song took me back to my teenage days and one of my youth leaders, who loved them and was partly responsible for introducing me to them.

I remember him being super excited and playing their tape (!) over and over again and it's only now, on reflection, that I realise how amazing it was for him to discover them. I don't know if he knew they were going to be as big as they became, but I can vividly remember how passionate he was about them and looking back now, I understand.

What got me thinking on the way home, though, was whether the idea of mega-bands/artists is something that we're not going to see again. By that, I mean those bands that basically everyone was in to - bands that were global phenomenons - The Beatles, The Stones, Led Zeppelin, U2, Queen. Those types of bands that would sell out 100,000 seat stadiums across the world.

Part of that is the change in the way we interact with music - there is so much music now, so many bands and so many different ways to access it, that we now have greater ability to pick and choose. Some people are even proud to say they only have bands on their ipod that no-one has heard of (you know who you are...) Everything has diversified so much, that I can't see think of any band or style of music in the last 10-15 years that has captivated a massive percentage of the population, the way some of those bands in the 60s-90s did. Yes, those bands are still huge, but most of that is because of those of us who encountered them during that time - which mega-bands do you know of that have people under 40 in them?

It is also because we get bored so easily, though - we consume so much music, and it's so easily available to us, that we feel like we need new music far more regularly. Yes, there are bands/artists that have made a global splash, but how many of them have continued on for the long haul?

However, I'm also not sure which bands/artists from the last 10 years would have had anywhere near the same impact, even if the playing field was the same...

For current artists, then, their goals and aspirations - as well as the ways of achieving those goals and aspirations - must have shifted also. The question I ponder is whether there are areas of my life/work that I'm trying to do the same as I would have in the 80s/90s, and whether I have made the shift, recognising that the game has changed.

tail-lights

2010-03-12T11:17:00.003-05:00

Apparently, our right-hand tail-light wasn't working. Not sure how long that had been the case, and it wasn't until someone followed us home one night (that we knew... not a stalker...) that we found out about it.

It's all fixed now, but I noticed a lot more tail-lights that were out on other people's cars in the days that followed (and was a lot more paranoid about the police potentially following me!) I did start to think about how that relates to our own lives, though, in terms of our "tail-lights" - the areas of our lives that we can't see, for whatever reason.

I need to have people who are "following me" (and not in the sense of me following Jesus - perhaps "tailing me" would be better), and helping me know when my tail-lights are out. There are certainly blind spots in all of our lives - parts of our character, attitudes, thought processes, belief systems - which we don't really know about. This can be because they're either so familiar to us because they are habits that have been around so long, or we're simply not aware of them due to lack of exposure to alternative ways of thinking. Without someone else pointing them out, we have no clue that they aren't working. I know I need to have people in my life who are telling me it's time to replace a globe or two, for my safety and the safety of others...

inspiration

2010-03-06T15:03:00.002-05:00

Last weekend was a massive weekend in Canada. For those who didn't hear the shouting, Sidney Crosby scored a goal in overtime to win Canada the gold medal for the hockey at the Winter Olympics... and the crowd went wild (across the country).

I said to a lot of people that I'm not aware of another sport that a country expects or wants to win in as much as hockey at the winter games for Canada. Maybe basketball for the US at the summer games, or the World Cup for England (I'm leaving out sports like cricket that not many countries play), but there are very few. It's Canada's game, and they want to win it more than anything.

When Crosby scored the goal Sunday night, the response was incredible - this clip from Vancouver being an excellent example... That win, added to the record number of gold medals Canadians won at these games gave a swagger to a nation that has, for a long time, sat in the background, going about their business, trying not to get in the way.

It was fascinating, because even with the wins, there wasn't a hint of arrogance, just a genuine "we did really well" attitude, and an awareness that they do belong on the world stage - an even fuller self-confidence that they can do things their way and be successful... very successful.

The question for me is what does Canada do with it? Is it just euphoria that lasts for a few days/weeks, then goes back to normal or is it something that causes a genuine change in attitudes? If so, what does that look like? It'll be interesting to watch...

[no alarms and] no surprises

2010-02-09T16:26:00.003-05:00

Each week, I have a 45-60 minute (each way) drive to some bi-weekly meetings. I actually really enjoy it - some good alone time, and most of all, a great opportunity to listen to some tunes.

Last week, I forgot to take my iPod, though, and was at the whim of the many radio stations here in Toronto. I've got a few favourites - won't name them for fear of judgement... - and flicked between them.

One of which was playing mainly the same songs they've been playing for the last couple weeks, so didn't get much opportunity. However, there were times when I was pleasantly surprised as I surfed the [radio-]waves, and it got me thinking. When I have my iPod on, generally, I'm using playlists that I've created, or, at times, I'll throw on an album or an artist that takes my fancy. When I listen to the radio, I'm at the mercy of what they choose, and at times, that can be rubbish. At other times, though, the surprise of hearing a song I haven't heard for ages, or a new song I didn't realise had been released means the payoff is more than worth it.

How often do we do the same with our choices in life - safely sticking to our existing playlists, living with albums and artists we know are safe and will give us some joy. But in doing so, we miss out on the joy of opportunities that catch us completely by surprise - bumping into someone or somewhere we haven't been for ages, finding ourselves somewhere that brings back strong memories, discoveries of new pleasures or places.

When was the last time you switched off your iPod and changed channels?

stories

2010-01-21T23:26:00.004-05:00

Been reading some Hemmingway over the last week or so, and also read The Catcher in the Rye by Salinger.

To be honest, I'm not sure what the fuss is about Catcher, but I have been blown away by Hemmingway. I borrowed a book of his short stories, and am astounded that in 2-3 short pages, he can tell a story so rich and engaging. At the same time, I'm also reading The Old Man and The Sea, and am loving the simplicity of the way in which he tells that story.

Catcher, on the other hand, I just found to go nowhere - partly because I felt it had too much detail at times, plus I didn't really enjoy the style of writing - personal preference. Possible also that reading it for the first time when teenage angst seems some time ago causes some loss of power...

Got me thinking, though - as I've mentioned before, one of the reasons comics are so powerful is because we have to engage our minds to read them. Reading Hemmingway's short stories is a similar experience - his ability to engage the mind in a few short pages is nothing short of brilliant.

That then led me to ponder about how we read and unpack The Story - God's story. Too often, I think we explain everything away, every last detail, and then wonder why people don't engage with it. We need to get better at allowing the space in the story to breathe, allowing the Spirit to engage our minds and challenge, inspire, encourage us. Or do we not trust that the stories are powerful enough...?

colour

2010-01-11T17:02:00.005-05:00

I'm amazed sometimes at the power of colour.

I was talking last night with some guys about NFL teams, and who we support. For me, because I wasn't raised on it, and because I'm not from any of the cities that have NFL teams, I don't really have any teams that I support fully. However, the teams that I do have a soft spot for are teams that have been successful, but more than that, for teams that have a lot of dark blue on their uniform (my favourite colour) - the Patriots, the Cowboys, even the Bills (yikes...)

In terms of baseball - same deal... Yankees, Twins...

Basketball - I'm more of a purist, so it is far more about the players (Go Cavs!)

I was thinking about that a bit more this morning, and walked out into a fairly grey and gloomy day, and realised how much difference that made, too. The weekend was spectacular - sunshine, blue skies... In fact, it was actually colder on the weekend than today, yet today felt colder and more dreary, because of the grey skies.

I'm sure there's a reason for it all, but it does amaze me that we can be so affected by the colour we see (consciously or not).

seasons

2010-01-05T13:30:00.005-05:00

A lot of people have asked why on earth we'd want to move to a place as cold as Toronto. Having lived here for a bit, I've realised that there are far worse places we could live - like Winnipeg...

Regardless, I have to say that I'm really excited about being in a place where there are significant differences in the seasons. We moved here during the fall, and it was amazing to see the leaves turn - I've never seen such an explosion of colour. It was also fascinating to see that only last for about 2 weeks, then the trees started to shed their coats and take on the ghostly shapes they currently have. And as for the first snowfall... oh my gosh.

I've commented previously about some of these dynamics (here and here), but count it a privilege to be able to experience it first hand at a level I've never seen before.

I wonder how often I miss the opportunity to have those sorts of experiences in my spiritual walk, though? I'll often spend time trying to avoid hard times, to make my life nice and comfortable, because it's easier that way. In doing so, do I miss the colour life has to offer? Do I miss the (very real) breath-taking that happens on a cold winter's day? And even if that's not because I've decided to insulate myself inside, perhaps I miss it because I'm so dissatisfied about my circumstances that I'm only focused on what I don't have, rather than embracing the season I'm in, knowing it will change at some point?

I've said to lots of people that one of the reasons I think people in North America embrace summer so much is because they have the contrast of winter - they know they need to get out and enjoy summer, because it is, literally, only for a season. I've also had lots of people say that the only way to cope with the long dark cold of winter is to embrace it - to get out in it and enjoy it.

Personally, I can't wait to see the transformation as we hit spring - to see the trees start to sprout, the snow start to melt, to hear the birds begin to sing again (something I hadn't realised had stopped until someone pointed it out the other day...). I also can't wait for summer - to enjoy the heat, being outside, having picnics, going to playgrounds. But in the meantime, I'm going to put on my jacket, toque, scarf and gloves and enjoy the crisp white of winter!

2010

2010-01-02T13:50:00.005-05:00

So... looks like I successfully managed to go a whole year without posting any thoughts. Something to be proud of? Doubtful.

Things have changed significantly in the last year - I have a new job, we live in a new city, in a new country, but thankfully our family is still the same (although we're older and hopefully better connected)

I feel like my blog is an opportunity for some people I'm meeting to get to know me a bit better, and for people I used to spend more time with to keep up with some of what's going on. Inspired by Sam Javanrouh I am also going to try and keep my camera closer and keep more of a visual record of our life. Here's one example from a trip to High Park with Josh on Wednesday (many of the photos on my flickr page are better, but this is the most recent...):

In the spirit of a new year, it's also worth pondering what things will be like in 12 months time. 2009 brought a lot of changes for us, most of which I would not, had you asked me at this time last year, have thought were even on the radar. I wonder what life will be like at the start of 2011, and how much influence I will have exerted over that. Obviously some things will unfold around me (which I feel is important - I'd like to continue the journey of letting things go...), but I'd also like to think that I've purposefully moved from where I am now to where I am then, rather than it just happening by accident. We'll see.

a moment?

2008-11-05T01:28:00.005-05:00

One of my first blogs was about Bobby, the movie about Robert F. Kennedy, and some questions it raised for me about whether people are aware, in the moment, of the impact they (and particularly their words) may have on history.

Today has been a monumental day, and I feel humbled and honoured to have been able to watch as Barack Obama was elected to be the 44th President of the United States of America. In reflecting in the hours that have passed since his victory speech, I've been thinking back to those early musings, and have continued to wonder about people's awareness in these moments. I think (hope) that we're all aware of the significance of Obama's speech, and the potential for it to enter into history as one of "those" moments - the "yes, we can" element of the speech, in particular.

What has also struck me, though, is that it is a moment of hope. Hope that was so clearly etched on the faces (and in the tears) of those who celebrated in Grant Park, Times Square, and in so many other places. Hope that came through in Obama's speech. Hope that maybe we stand on the edge of something great - of a restoration, of a re-ordering. Hope that from this moment forward, things will be different. There is no guarantee that we have witnessed one of those moments, today, but I'm sure as Obama strode out onto that platform, he was aware of the potential, aware of the hope.

Should Obama deliver on that hope, then yes, this speech (and, I would imagine) a number of his other speeches so far, and yet to come, will indeed mark turning points. We will, for decades to come, look back, as we do now on JFK, on Martin Luther King, Jr, on Robert F. Kennedy, and remember where we were when these events took place.

I have to confess, though that while I have hope, I have fear, also. My greatest fear is of someone doing something stupid - as happened to each of those leaders I've just mentioned. Yes, that will also become a moment, but it will be a moment when hope is crushed, destroyed. I also fear that Obama will be unable to deliver on the promises and hope that he's created - that the expectation of change which has swept him to the Oval Office will be insatiable, unrealistic, and, in the end, undeliverable.

Let's pray I am wrong on both counts, and that hope wins the day.

what josh is teaching me about God #8

2008-11-03T19:02:00.004-05:00

Yesterday, Ali and I took Josh to his orientation afternoon at school, which he starts next year. Josh met his teacher, spent some time in his room, while we went with the other parents and were given info on what we needed to get ready, forms we needed to fill out, etc. Needless to say, it was a bit of a rollercoaster arvo - excitement for Josh, encouragement about what a great school he's going to, but also realisation that our little boy is growing up, that we're heading into a very different phase of life and parenting, that there are going to be some challenges ahead.

As Ali and I were talking about it last night, I said that it's a strange pivot point as parents. In some ways, we've spent the first 5 years of Josh's life "reeling him in" - trying to teach him boundaries, set foundations, teaching him control. From next year, in effect, we begin the process of letting him back out - allowing him to become more and more independent over the coming years, in the hope that by the time he finishes at school, he'll be able to stand on his own two feet.

As often happens during these reflections, my mind then turned to the way in which my fatherhood is a reflection of my relationship with God. Through this, I began to think about the faith journey, and wondered if there is some correlation here. Is it possible that the first part of our faith journey is about God teaching us the basics, giving us boundaries, setting foundations, learning self-control? Then, as we grow, God begins to "let us back out", to trust that the heart-work that's been done has prepared us to be able to stand on our own feet a bit more.

Now, I fully realise that in saying this, it could be perceived that I'm implying that God wants us to stand without him, but I'm not. I'm simply pondering whether part of the maturity process (including God allowing us to go through difficult times, where our faith is tested) is related around a similar type of pivot point.

Again, perhaps the first phase of our journey of faith is very much like the first 5 years of life - learning to walk, to talk, to write, to comprehend, and, in the midst of that, to learn that life is not a free-for-all, but there are boundaries that we need to live within, if we are going to function as part of society. But that's not the end. God gives us the opportunity to "start school" at some point - to begin to put into practice the things we've learned, continue to grow, continue to expand, discover what it means to live for others, not just ourselves.

lusting after church

2008-10-31T00:49:00.006-04:00

In recent times, I've had some conversations with different people who are thinking about where they're at in their involvement with their church. Sometimes, I find these conversations difficult, because, as a shaper in a church, I have a vested interest in what we're doing at CitySoul, and obviously believe strongly in what we're doing, and the way we're doing it.

My tendency is to hold back talking about what we're doing, particularly with people who are struggling in the communities they are currently part of, because I want them to work through the issues, and help their church become even more healthy, rather than just up and leaving. In one of these recent conversations, I found myself saying something which I think is a helpful analogy, and which I've since used a couple more times.

In some ways, being part of a faith community is like being in a relationship (hopefully it's a lot like being in a lot of relationships, but bear with me...) When you are in a relationship with someone, it doesn't matter how attractive anyone else is, while you are in the relationship you're in, you should not be looking, and especially not lusting...

Yes, there are times when it's tempting, but if you're in a relationship, you should be focussed on working through any issues, resolving problems, looking to strengthen that relationship, not find an easy out by chasing after someone else who might seem more attractive. The reality is that all relationships require hard work, dedication, and, as far as I know, all people have issues of some sort, so while the change might be nice for a while, the gloss will wear off (and is it even possible you are the cause of some of those problems... so won't you take them into any other relationship you head into?)

Now, if the relationship is not working, is not going anywhere, is harmful, etc, then you need to leave that relationship, and it's at that point that you can begin to look at who else is around (but it's still important to work through the issues that caused the breakup).

I think it would be helpful if more people had those concepts in mind as they thought about their involvement with any given church. While you are a part of that church, you are in a relationship, and it doesn't matter how attractive other churches are, you're "taken", so stop lusting! All churches have people in them, and if they have people, that means there are going to be issues. Some communities might hide them better than others, or for longer, but there will be issues somewhere (even with CitySoul!).

Now, again, if that relationship is not working (and there are times when it is absolutely appropriate to end a relationship and move on, for the benefit of both parties), then aim for a healthy close to the relationship, work through the issues that caused the "breakup", and once that chapter has closed, only then should you start looking at what else is around.

imagine if... #2

2008-10-22T22:24:00.005-04:00

I did say I was going to do some regular blogs on the theme of "imagine if..." So, here's number 2...

Jesus says that the Dream of God (Kingdom) is like a farmer who throws seed into a field, then is amazed as it pretty much grows on its own - he doesn't really know how it happens, but the soil grows a sprout, then a stalk, then a head, then a full head of grain, so he harvests it (Mark 4:26-29)

Imagine if we functioned that way - not that we don't put any effort in at all - the farmer had to plant the seed (which, I think it's fair to assume means he'd prepared the ground first), but that we set up environments for growth to occur organically, then sit back in amazement at what God does around us. And creating an environment for ourselves to grow (what's my soil like right now? what seed have I scattered around the place lately?), as well as talking about creating environments for others to grow.

Organic is one of our key values at CitySoul, and is becoming a bigger and bigger part of my thinking and understanding. Organic means natural, not forced, slow growth... the farmer, in some ways couldn't have sped up the process (and we all know how fake and less alive food tastes when the growth process has been sped up...)

Imagine if we were more focused on creating environments (preparing the soil, scattering seed) where growth can organically occur. Imagine if we were more content to realise that (whether we sleep or get up, as Jesus' story says) God is growing the seed. Imagine if we would allow ourselves to be surprised (and blessed) by God more often as we scratch our heads and say "how did that grow?!"

Imagine if...

reality bites...

2008-10-21T00:04:00.004-04:00

There's a lot of talk (and, disappointingly, some champagne corks) around the place at the moment about the impending death of the emerging church (see here, here, here and here for just a few examples). I've spent a bit of time over the last few years reading, listening to and watching some of the emerging church discussions, and find it interesting that the conversation has come to this point.

Think what you may of the emerging church conversation, but to me there is a bigger issue at stake, and that is one of authenticity. In the end, the more I reflect, the more I think we as Christians need to place an exceptionally high premium on authenticity.

At one of our CitySoul feasts a few weeks ago, we spent some time considering this idea of authenticity, and for me, some of the really helpful thoughts came out of discussions about what is not authentic, ie what is fake. As you think about what is fake, you start to think about mass-production, copies, trickery, pretending to be something you're not, plastic...

Authenticity on the other hand is about being genuine, about originality, the real deal.

With that in mind, the question of emerging church (or any other "form" of church, for that matter) can become a distraction from pursuing what it means to authentically follow Jesus - individually and corporately. Trying to "become" (or not become) an emerging/[insert other label] church flies in the face of what it means to say as a community "what does it mean for us, together, to follow Jesus?" (which obviously flows on from understanding that for yourself.) If that looks (or smells...) emerging, then it's not going to die, because it's genuine for the people who are part of your community. If it looks traditional, then it's not going to die, because it's genuine. If it's something new (or old), but it's real, and people are encountering and seeking to become more like Jesus, that would seem to decrease the likelihood that it will becoming a fad, a trend, or a fake.

I wonder what would happen if we spent more time focussing on, talking with and giving opportunities to the people who are part of our communities, helping them discover what it means for them to follow Jesus authentically, and less time either looking at what others are doing and trying to copy that, or looking at what others are doing in the hope it will fail.

building muscle

2008-10-17T00:16:00.002-04:00

I've blogged some thoughts previously (here and here) on the links between exercise (particularly in terms of weights) and spirituality, and this morning at the gym, I was struck by another link...

It's very deceptive to look at how much muscle gain you've achieved in the moments after a workout. The blood flow to the muscles means that the muscles look bigger (and more impressive!) than they actually are (and will be later in the day). Following a workout, the body needs nutrients (particularly protein) to rebuild the muscle fibres that are torn during exercise. If it gets these nutrients, over the next 48 hours, the muscle will repair itself, and grow to a larger, stronger size. This happens most effectively, as I mentioned in one of those entries, when the body is given time to rest - if you return to the gym and work on the same muscle group the following day, the body has not had time to repair itself, so muscle growth is inhibited.

So... linking that into our spirituality, perhaps it's not the moments immediately following a "workout" (whether that is anything from a ministry experience to personal disciplines) that show the true results. Nor is it the day after (when perhaps our spiritual muscles are hurting and in need of nutrients and rest). Rather, it is a couple of days later that we should be able to see the results of our exercise - but even more likely it will be after weeks of repeated exercise that the effects will be shown.

For me, that's a big lesson to learn, because I can be seduced by the importance of an event, a devotional time, etc, if I look at it in the moments immediately following its occurrence. Instead, I need to take time and reflect on the impact over the days (even weeks) following the event, in order to see what impact it has really had, and whether there is long-term growth and strength coming as a result.

teenage affluenza

2008-10-02T00:47:00.003-04:00

One of the blogs I enjoy reading is Mark Sayers' blog. Mark is one of the most insightful yet down to earth people around and a profoundly deep thinker - particularly in regards to culture. I highly recommend you subscribe to his feed if you're interested in the impact of culture, particularly in regards to following Jesus (he has also just started a weekly podcast, too, so get onto his site and check it out).

In one of his previous entries, Mark made mention of a some of the resources on the World Vision resource page, Learn About Poverty. I was perusing it today, and was blown away by this clip...

I can't see how anyone could not use that in their youth/young adult ministry - so many helpful discussions that could come out of it. Please go to the site and check out the rest of their resources.

photos

2008-09-21T20:37:00.004-04:00

Wow - how did 2 months pass without an entry? Ah life...

Anyhoo, I thought I should put on here that I've got a flickr page (for those not in the know, flickr is an exceptional site for uploading, sharing and looking at images - particularly photography).

I'm still very much learning what constitutes a good photo, but there are some on there I'm pretty happy with - like this one...

If you're interested, head over to http://www.flickr.com/photos/natevawser

imagine if...

2008-07-30T03:23:00.003-04:00

Sunday morning, we went to my Dad's church because it was his last Sunday there before he moves to a new church. As part of his sermon, he talked about some of the metaphors Jesus used to describe "The Kingdom of God". As I've mentioned previously, I've been struggling for a while with how useful the phrase "Kingdom of God" is for us today. I fully understand the need for us to talk about the way things function if we lived God's way, but thinking about a Kingdom is not easy for someone who doesn't really live in a Kingdom, and for those who do, it's not necessarily helpful, for other reasons. As that post notes, Brian McLaren suggests the "dream of God" as one alternative (which I've found very helpful) to talk about the Kingdom, so I've decided I'm going to do some regular blogs along this line with this title of "imagine if..."

Dad talked about how yeast and seeds are both small, hidden, and yet absolutely vital for transformation. Imagine if the church saw itself with that mindset - small, hidden, and yet absolutely vital for transformation - how much differently would it function?

This obviously flies in the face of a lot of popular church growth theory, which says that to be vital for transformation, a church needs to be big and obvious - numbers, building, signage, on TV, in people's face. I'm not having a go at any of those things - some churches have the ability to do those things well, and have a great impact because of it. However, is that what all churches should be aspiring for, or should we be aspiring to be smaller, hidden communities, who are transformative because we are yeast in the dough, or seeds in the soil?

One of the things I love about our faith community that we're in the very early stages of planting is that we want that to be at the core of who we are - small (as in not a big building, nor a big name - numbers are up to God), hidden, working away behind the scenes, but absolutely vital for the transformation of our city.

Imagine if...

choose... life

2008-07-24T21:31:00.003-04:00

I've had one of those mornings this morning - you know, the ones where you feel like you're swimming in concrete, it takes ages to do anything?

Examples - I bought a new scooter (so happy to save so much money!), and went to fill it up at the petrol station. I usually go to Mobil when I'm on the scooter, and when I used to be on my ZZR, because you can pay at the pump, and don't have to take your helmet off, etc. So, I go to the station, pay at the pump isn't working, so I have to go in to pay. When I go in, the attendant realises that the guy who just paid (driving a Calais) gave him the wrong pump number (accidentally?) - mine. You'd think either the guy buying the petrol or the guy selling it would have realised that it costs more than $7 to fill a Calais... So, the attendant has to go out, get the guy to come back in, charge him the extra... you get the picture.

Eventually, I get back on the scooter and managed to snag every single red light on the way into town - no exaggeration, every one.

Then I get into town and our wireless wasn't working properly... sigh (obviously it is now).

Now, clearly none of those things are a big deal, but I can get frustrated pretty easily at stuff like that.

2 weeks ago at our feast gathering for church, we talked about Moses' glorious words from Deuteronomy 30:15-20, in which he reminds the Israelites that as they enter into the Promised Land, that's not going to be the end of their need to make choices, and he challenges them to choose life (v 19).

We talked about how we need to make choices every day, and we are continually presented with opportunities to choose options that give life, contrasted with choosing options that take life.

As I was sitting at one of the (many) red lights this morning, I decided to make a choice, to take the opportunity to soak up the sunshine, to marvel at the contrast of the green trees against the blue sky, to choose life. I also reflected on how blessed we are to be able to make choices, and that the way we respond is really up to us.

boxing God

2008-07-24T00:47:00.006-04:00

Last night at our feast gathering for church, we did a fantastic reflection based on Isaiah 53, and Mark 8:27-30 - discussing who we understand Jesus to be, and how easy it is for us to shape our understanding of Jesus on something that is so much smaller than he actually is.

As a way of practically reflecting on that, we bought some chinese food boxes, and Josh, our Creative Curator asked us to reflect on the ways in which we keep God in a box, then to open the box out and reflect on the characteristics of God that we struggle with.

It was very helpful, and very powerful. I was especially challenged to reflect on the ways in which, by putting Jesus in a box, I limit his ability to act. It's not that Jesus doesn't have the power, but are there times that I, by my small-mindedness (or should that be small-boxedness?) limit Jesus' ability to use that power in my life or in the situations I find myself in?

Who do you say Jesus is? What's in the box?

viva la vida

2008-07-21T01:34:00.002-04:00

I bought the new Coldplay CD the other day, and I really like it. It's quite different to their previous albums, but I love some of the time and feel changes they've got throughout.

My favourite song from the album is the title track, and I've spent a bit of time lately thinking about why I really like the songs I love, like this one. Where I've come to is that many of the songs I enjoy the most are ones that really build - songs like Viva la Vida, Straight Lines by Silverchair, Knights of Cydonia by Muse. There's something great about the way in which a song starts low, then gradually builds to a musical explosion... awesome.

It seems to me that life, at its best, is full of a similar feeling. We move through periods where the music dies down, then gradually starts to build (and our expectation with it), leading up to a key moment, where something significant happens, then the music starts to die down again, before rebuilding and starting again.

Just like with music, if it was pumped the whole time, or if it was quiet the whole time, life would get boring - it's the changes in tempo, feel, and the crests and troughs that make life enjoyable. Sure, sometimes we'd prefer it would build a bit quicker, or die down earlier, but if we (I!) can learn to ride the waves, and appreciate the subtle changes, and where it is taking us, I'm sure it would be so much easier to enjoy life.

Viva la Vida!

priorities

2008-07-17T21:24:00.002-04:00

The other day, I purchased a new heater for our church. Because we're in the city, I bought it from the Mall, and walked back to our base with my big heater in a box - feeling more than a little self-conscious.

As I was walking down the Mall, there was a homeless guy, who was selling The Big Issue (a street magazine designed to help the homeless and unemployed help themselves). I said hi to him, and he made a comment "looks like someone will be warm tonight".

It smacked me right between the eyes as I walked away that this guy had a different perspective than me. The first thing he thought of when he saw the heater was warmth (which makes sense), but warmth and home. That wasn't even on my radar when I bought it (I was simply fulfilling a task, really), and, to be honest, I felt terrible.

It's so easy to take so much for granted, and forget how lucky we are.

redemption

2008-06-28T01:39:00.002-04:00

One of the things I enjoy doing is playing basketball, and I play socially with a great bunch of guys on Saturday afternoons. Last week, for a number of reasons, I got quite frustrated during our game. I didn't go all Barry Hall and punch anyone, but I did say a few things in anger and wasn't pleased at all with my behaviour - in short, I felt like I didn't even come close to reflecting Jesus.

As a penalty, I decided to suspend myself from this week's game - there are no rules that I broke or anything that meant I had to, I just felt is was an appropriate way of reminding myself that basketball is supposed to be about fitness, camaraderie, fun, team, enjoyment, and if I'm going to take it to seriously, I shouldn't be playing. I emailed my team and told them my decision, and resigned myself to not playing today.

It turned out that one of our other guys wasn't going to be able to play this week, though, so I was asked to consider playing, and I chose to use the AFL model of taking a guilty plea, which reduced my "points", so I could play (guess I'm now ineligible for the Brownlow...), but any more indiscretions, and it was a guaranteed suspension.

So, I played, we won by about 20, I scored 14, and really enjoyed the game. As I was driving home, I started to think about the difference between redemption of that form - where I'm given another chance, an opportunity to dust myself off and get up and play again, rather than the "you're guilty, you've stuffed it, so there's a penalty to be served". Instead of sitting at home, feeling sorry for myself, guilty that I'd messed up, and guilty that because of it, our team had to suffer (even if that was only because they didn't have an extra sub!), I had the opportunity to show that it was a mistake, that's not how I want to function, and that I can do better.

(As an aside, I did also wonder where I would have felt as good if we had lost, or if I hadn't scored any points, but I think in the end, it was the opportunity to get back on the horse that gave me the feelings of redemption, rather than the end result. One could argue, of course, that the result was due to the redemption, but things are starting to get circular and maybe I'm analyzing too much.)

In short, though, when we think about redemption and forgiveness for those around us, what's our response? Should we penalise people, teaching them a lesson, drumming into them that they've messed up and haven't met whatever standard we've set or they've set? What would happen instead if we, individually, and in our faith communities, gave people the opportunity to show us and (probably more importantly) themselves that they are better than that, that it was a mistake, and they're still a part of our life?

That's certainly the perspective I get from Jesus, that grace looks much more like the second type of redemption than the first, and that God's focus is far more on getting us dusted off, back in the game, back to our best, rather than sitting at home feeling sorry for ourselves.

Easter photo

2008-06-15T09:50:00.000-04:00

In a previous post (here), I mentioned about a photo that Josh was taken with when we went to my parents' church at Easter. I did actually get it a while ago, but never got around to posting it, so here it is.

Be interested in your thoughts - what strikes you about it? what does it say to you? do you find meaning in it?

update

2008-06-15T08:55:00.005-04:00

Well, it's been a while. I've been extraordinarily slack of late, and it's well and truly time to get back into the habit of writing some comments (as much for the discipline of cognitively reflecting as for anyone else's benefit - but I hopt it's helpful for you, too).

To help me, I have a new toy... er, I mean work tool - a MacBook. I haven't had a Mac before, but my friend Chris Folmsbee pretty much converted me to them with his passion for them when I had the great fortune of spending some time with him in 07 and 06. I'll be honest... I love it, so hopefully the joy of Mac use will help me get back into the swing of things. On the other hand, as J.J. Abrams (creator of Lost (which is still brilliant - if you stopped watching it, you have no staying power... and yes, they have answered some questions)) says, Macs are so brilliant that the work we do on them needs to be worthy, so maybe I'll just be intimidated.

Anyhoo, enough rambling - here's some of what's been happening in my world...

1. I have a new job and a new faith community - I'm part of a fresh church plant in Adelaide's city, focussed on young adults. We're looking at how we can best engage with young adults, and have a blank slate to create the community in whatever form seems appropriate. Scary and exciting, both at the same time.

2. We're moving house - we move to a 1 year old house in 3 weeks... can't wait

3. Did I mention I have a MacBook?

4. I've been amazed at how well Facebook works - I've found, or been found, by countless people I'd lost contact with

5. One negative about moving house is that our front garden is looking fantastic - I've been amazed to see all the hard work I did a while ago has paid off, but sad to know I won't be seeing it much longer (looking forward to starting fresh at our new place though)

6. I discovered Muse some months ago, and man do I love Muse. I bought the Haarp DVD a few weeks ago, which only increased my devotion

Well, that's probably enough rambling. Hopefully in the days to come I'll have a little more to offer...

Easter thoughts

2008-03-24T07:31:00.002-04:00

We had a pretty strange Easter weekend. For the past few years, I've been pretty involved with church stuff, so have known intimately what would happen with the services, etc, and that's been my primary focus. This year, I didn't have any of those responsibilities, so was looking forward to just heading along to the services as part of what we did over the weekend.

For Good Friday, we went to my parents' church, and up the front there was a painting that one of the women from the congregation did a few years ago (I'm hoping to get a copy of it to post on here later). It was a great piece of art, of Jesus on the cross, head bowed, hair in front of his eyes. I thought it was great - very poignant. What stunned Ali and I, though, was that a number of times, later in the day, Josh (who's 4, remember) kept talking about it. He started by saying "The picture at church made me sad". When we asked him why, he said "because the man in the painting looked sad". We explained to him that it was Jesus, and he was dying on the cross, which is why he was sad.

What struck me was how often I stop to recognise that I should be sad, too. It's so easy to know the story, to know Jesus died, but with Easter Sunday in the background, therefore not allowing the fullness of what transpired to hit home. As I said, I've been involved in many Easter services, and one of the things that used to irk me was when people would complain that our Good Friday service was too dark, or too depressing, or words to that effect. I need to be slapped around the head with the truth that this man, a man with feelings, who suffered incredible pain, who died, made an incredible sacrifice. It's not enough to stop at understanding atonement or penal substitution. Those things are important, but so is the fact that Jesus chose to die, for me, for you. I should be sad, and I'm glad that Josh was, too.

Easter Sunday, we had plans to go to another church, but unfortunately, Rachel got really crook late Saturday night, and spent most of Sunday throwing up. She was really weak, very lethargic, slept a lot, and was really quiet (something not quite normal for her...!) This morning (Monday), she was still pretty weak, but after some food throughout the day, she perked up and was back to her normal self. I was amazed at how great it was to hear her talk, laugh, cry... even scream. It was just wonderful to have our little girl back to normal.

In the midst of that, another Easter revelation came to me - the joy, the unspeakable joy that the disciples must have felt when Jesus was amongst them following his resurrection. To think you were never going to hear him again, laugh with him again, eat with him again... and then there he is, in the flesh, back.

As equally as Good Friday should be about grief, about darkness, sadness, reflection, Easter Sunday should be about joy, celebration, laughing, eating, remembering that Jesus is not gone, he's with us - he went through the darkness, and came out the other side, to bring light to all.

I love Easter.

absence >> yearning

2008-03-16T20:10:00.003-04:00

We're currently in the middle of a record heatwave here in Adelaide (for any time of the year, let alone the first month of Autumn). Today is the 15th day in a row that we have had a temperature over 35C (95F). That's a lot of heat in anyone's language...

I'm unashamedly a summer person - I much prefer to get around in shorts and a t-shirt than anything else, and love the sunshine, daylight savings, warmth. Yet something funny has happened in the last few days (something which normally happens every summer at some point for me - I'm developing a yearning for winter! I'd really love to have a rainy day (we're in the middle of a drought here, as well), a cold night where we could switch the heater on, get into some trakkies, snuggle under a blanket and watch a good movie or read a good book. (I know it won't last - give me a few days of cold wind, driving rain and I'll be back on the summer bandwagon)

But it made me think - perhaps our yearnings are shaped a lot by absence, rather than presence (or perhaps a combination of the absence of one thing with the constant presence of the opposite?). During this heatwave, it's been the absence of cool, of rain, while living in the constant presence of heat (some nights it hasn't dipped below 30C) that has given me a yearning for winter. Conversely, in winter, when the sun is more absent, when warmth and light also go missing, and rain and darkness become constant companions, this produces a yearning for summer.

Does that give a new understanding to the purpose of lent, which finishes this weekend with Easter? The idea of fasting during lent is also about absence - about deliberately removing something from our presence. And when that yearning kicks in, we are to turn not to a yearning for whatever it is we are fasting from, but rather to a greater yearning for more of God in our lives.

May you know more of God's presence in your life, as we begin this Holy Week.

lent

2008-03-04T19:17:00.003-05:00

As has become a part of my daily rhythm, I listened to the Jesuit "Pray as you go" podcast this morning. In it, they made reference to the meaning of Lent relating to Spring and new life, which makes sense, when you consider the seasons in the Northern Hemisphere.

As I'm in the Southern Hemisphere, it hit me how much difference that may make, in the lead up to Easter. For me, the most powerful aspects of Easter have always revolved around Good Friday - the sacrifice, the death, the pain, the suffering. The joy of Easter Sunday has always been part of Easter, absolutely, but for me, often the focus has been on Maundy Thursday and Good Friday.

As I reflected on the comments about new life, I wondered whether it makes a difference that Easter for us is generally in April - the middle of Autumn - a time of dying, decay, daylight savings ending, darkness, and perhaps that shapes the Easter experience. For our friends in the Northern Hemisphere, Easter occurs at a time when new life is born in the fields, when it is warming up, the days are getting longer, and perhaps this shapes the focus on Easter to a more joyful, fresh experience.

It's funny how we can be affected by the environment we live in, without even realizing it...

foundations

2008-03-04T02:09:00.003-05:00

I've been doing a bit more work around our house this week - some odd jobs that needed to be finished off, including some paving and some painting.

What's hit me again is just how important foundations are. It plays a huge part in whether you have to do something once, or keep doing the same things. If I pave the path with a solid foundation under it, taking a bit more time, it'll last a lot longer. If I take shortcuts, it'll fall apart, and probably have to be repaved. If paint jobs are done well the first time (good surface prep, good coverage), this will mean the job will look a lot better and, again, last a lot longer.

Surely, it's the same with our spirituality, but how much do we focus on the foundations - on two fronts?

For people who are involved in walking with those taking their first steps in finding out what it means to follow Jesus authentically, how much effort do we put into the "surface prep", the foundations? What is appropriate and helpful surface prep, foundation laying? And if we don't lay a foundation, why are we surprised when things are a lot more complicated down the track?

For all of us, when we shortcut the basics, and the fundamentals (of course, discerning what the fundamentals are is a whole other discussion), again, why are we surprised when things get complicated, confused? What would it mean for us to "last a lot longer"?

create/replace space

2008-02-19T19:10:00.003-05:00

For Lent this year, I decided I'd give up a number of things - something I find helpful in my walk with God leading up to Easter. One of them is that I decided I wouldn't listen to music whenever I'm in the car. At the moment, I'm not driving around heaps, but even the bit that I am, it's amazing how much space is created by having that time with no noise.

What I've been aiming for is that when I am tempted to switch on the tunes, I do one of two things - either reaffirm my need for God is greater than my need for music, and/or take some time to acknowledge that God is there with me (something which is easy to forget).

I have been reading this blog during Lent, and was fascinated by this entry, which talks about the need to not just create space, but to replace it with something else. I agree with this, because not only can Lent be a time of preparation for Easter, a time of creating space for God, recognising our need for Him, but it also can be a time to form new habits - replacing junk with beauty, distraction with focus.

in and out

2008-02-12T23:28:00.004-05:00

I've had a fair bit of spare time over the last month, so I've been going to the gym a lot more often - aiming for every weekday. It's been great, but one thing I have noticed is that I am so much more hungry now! I've been trying to eat more than I used to, yet I keep getting hungry...

While I was at the gym this morning, I started thinking about how important it is for me to up my intake, if I want to keep up this exercise routine. If I don't, all the good I do in building muscle, etc will be lost, as my body searches for food within itself (given from food intake, burning fat, etc), and if it can't find any, it'll look for other sources (muscles, etc), and all the good will be undone.

As I was thinking this, it hit me that there is a lesson to be learned there by those who are more active in ministry than others.

As we increase the frequency of our "exercise" (engaging with people, preaching, running meetings, etc, etc), are we increasing how much we are eating, too (prayer, silence, meditation, Bible reading, etc)? If not, why should we not expect our bodies (or is that our souls?) to start "eating themselves"? Soul care is important not just so that we are more productive, more efficient, or whatever, but so that we have the spiritual energy to exercise properly, and to benefit not only others, but ourselves, as we do so.

As I've written previously, doing weights is all about breaking down muscle, so that when it rebuilds, it is stronger. Without food for that rebuild process, though, it doesn't happen. So, when God calls us to step outside our comfort zone, we need to have the food there, so that our spiritual muscles can rebuild. If we don't take time in prayer, reflection, stillness, not only do we miss out on much needed rest, but also the food that will allow us to be stronger next time.

a perfect evening

2008-02-03T00:31:00.000-05:00

Last night, we went to "Symphony Under The Stars" - the Adelaide Symphony Orchestra playing at Elder Park. It was a magnificent night for it...

The sunset was amazing, the ASO were spot on, there was a light breeze, so it wasn't too hot, not too cold.

As the orchestra played, I wondered why more has not been written about the concept of the Church as orchestra - there are so many parallels:

Everyone needing to play their part
No part more or less important than any other
When they work together, the music is beautiful and awe-inspiring
Sometimes it's your turn to shine, sometimes you need to allow others to step to the fore
As you follow the conductor, things stay in synch

I was also struck by the parallels between the impact of the orchestra and the church on the people around:

There are numbers of people who are pretty much unmoved by the music (eg "I'm just here to pick up...")
There are others who think it's all about them, not about being moved by the music of the orchestra
There are some who simply talk and miss the whole thing
The orchestra continues playing, in the hope that in the end, people will be moved by the music

I'm sure there are lots of other thoughts, but there's some to get someone started - I'm sure there's a book idea there somewhere...

being tight has its advantages

2008-01-23T20:04:00.000-05:00

I have a confession to make - well, two, actually. First, I love getting new clothes. For some reason, I really enjoy getting new clothes - whether they are jeans, shorts, t-shirts, shoes, whatever. I'm a big fan.

The second confession flies in the face of the first, though... I hate spending money on clothes. Part of the reason for that is that I've picked up too many bargains, particularly at DFOs and, more recently, Target clearance sales (yes, I shop at Target... and K-Mart. So?) I've often found I can pick up t-shirts for under $5, and have been known to get jeans for less than $10. The idea, then, of spending any more than $10 on a t-shirt, and any more than $20 on a pair of jeans seems odd to me, now, which can be frustrating.

However, Tuesday, I found a real bonus about point 2. My good friend Chris Folmsbee once told me that he and his family aim to clear out their clothes every so often - donating clothes that they are not wearing to charity, because, as we all know, it's real easy to accumulate a lot of clothing. So, I've been trying to do the same thing, and on Tuesday, I gave 2 big bags of clothes and about 5 pairs of shoes to Goodwill. I said to Ali while we were doing it that it's a lot easier to give clothes away when you know they only cost you $5 in the first place, rather than giving away clothes that cost $60 or whatever. Something to think about.

what josh is teaching me about God #7

2008-01-21T21:52:00.001-05:00

This morning, we took the kids to a new playground around the corner from us - so much fun. One thing I'm not sure about yet, though, is that to get to their bumpy slide, you either had to scale a rubber rope, or climb a series of plastic tyres arranged near each other, but certainly not in an easy manner to climb.

Josh wasn't real keen on the idea - he desperately wanted to get to that slide, but freaked out climbing up the tyres. I helped him (eventually) get up there, using the usual tactics ("I've got you", "look at me, don't look down", etc), but he really didn't enjoy the process, only the end result. Of course, once he'd been down the slide, he had another few goes at getting up there, with varying levels of success (the fact Rachel scaled up there (with Ali's help) fearlessly seemed to have little effect on him...)

What I was thinking about, though, was whether God wants us to be completely dependent on him all the time. Now, I know God wants us to depend on him, not on ourselves, others, our career, etc, but let me explain. My purpose in helping Josh up to the slide was to teach him how to do it on his own. He really didn't need me to hold him there, balancing him (I was happy to do it, though), and it was actually holding him back from being able to do something I knew he could do. So, I started wondering about whether God's growth in us is about us learning to stand on our own, to do the things he's enabled us to do - not that we do it on our own, we have his Spirit empowering us, certainly, and Jesus promised he would be with us always - but that God wants us to grow in our security enough to be able to climb and slide, knowing he's with us.

I'm not sure - in some ways it seems like a negative thought, that we wouldn't need God, and I'm not trying to justify us depending on our own strength. I just wonder whether we go too far the other way sometimes, and because of that, miss out on doing some things God knows we can do.

where everybody knows your name...

2008-01-06T05:04:00.001-05:00

Over the last week, I've spent quite a bit of time with some of my closest friends, as they and I begin the process of me moving from RBC to whatever is next.

At a number of times over the last week, the conversation has turned to "so... what would you like to do?" (as in what would you like to do - play golf, watch the cricket, or do something else - not the longer, more reflective "what would you like to do with your life?" question.)

Most times, I've struggled to have an answer, and it hit me yesterday that I think the reason for that is because I actually don't care too much. Before my friends who read this get offended, though, let me clarify. I haven't been able to give an answer, because what I want to do is be with my friends. What we do while we're together, doesn't really bother me - I just enjoy being in their company, and whatever happens, well, pretty much, I'll be happy!

How blessed we are to have great friends.

so...

2008-01-02T23:59:00.001-05:00

Well, it's been a while - nearly a month, in fact. The main reason that I haven't been doing any blogging during that time has been that I've just finished up as one of the Pastors at Rostrevor Baptist Church. It's been quite a journey, I have to say, and I'm appropriately proud of the work that God has accomplished during my time there. The last month has been slightly odd, finishing up, cleaning out my office, etc, but I feel at peace.

Moving on has been a journey of trust - trusting that God was speaking, and trusting that God will provide. I currently don't have anything 100% definite that I will be going to, but there is an option which we are exploring which looks amazing - pretty much my dream job. More on that as info comes to hand.

In the meantime, it's great to have a bit of space - space to do some writing, space to spend with family, space to spend with friends, space to pray and listen. Hopefully, I might be able to find some space to think and reflect in there, too.

what josh is teaching me about God #6

2007-12-06T22:30:00.000-05:00

I arrived home from the U.S. yesterday, and it was so great to see Ali, Josh and Rachel again. I missed them a lot while I was away, and Josh didn't cope real well the last few days.

As is our custom at nights, last night I lay down with Josh to talk about his day, and (not surprisingly) he didn't want me to leave. Ali was at music rehearsal for Sunday morning, so I said to Josh I'd stay a bit longer if we could just lie still and not talk (he really needed to go to sleep). That moment was one of the richest of my life. he snuggled into me, and just lay there (something pretty rare for Josh!), letting me stroke his hair... bliss.

Then it hit me - maybe that's how God sees us when we've been away for a time. He doesn't want us to necessarily talk and tell him everything, grovel or enter with fear, but just says "let's lie here for a while - it's great to have you home".

what's really important?

2007-12-01T23:59:00.000-05:00

I've had the pleasure of spending the last few days in Kansas City and Chicago with my very good friend, Chris Folmsbee. Today, a snowstorm came through Chicago, something I've not seen before. It was exciting and fun (I even got to shovel snow for the first time...)

What has amazed me, though, is how things can just shut down. We saw news reports about 400 flights being canceled at O'Hare, the trains stopping, the roads coming to a near standstill - and it wasn't even a bad storm! Apparently it gets a lot worse at times, and things can shut down pretty much altogether.

It's so easy for us to expect things to happen - from our favourite food being available at the supermarket to our sporting team to play a certain way, from planes being available when they're supposed to be, to people driving the way we expect them to. And when they don't... isn't that a great opportunity to realise that maybe something we thought was vital actually wasn't, and in that disconnect, we allow our minds to repent, and see things from a totally different point of view.

the desert

2007-11-28T14:25:00.000-05:00

Last week, we went on a road trip to Canberra for Ali's brother's wedding. 14 hours each way, driving across the hay plain...
For those of you who don't know, the Hay Plain is a huge strip of road that connects Adelaide and Sydney and Canberra. It's a couple hundred kms of road, that in places is just plain straight for kms on end.

It's a very desolate place, and as we were driving it, I found myself able to pray and think really clearly, because there was nothing to distract me and a thought struck me that I'd never considered before. One of the advantages of desert experiences, and, I think, one of the reasons they are so powerful is because there are no distractions. As we move into the desert (whether that is literally or figuratively) we move away from the distractions that stop us thinking clearly, hearing clearly, praying clearly.

The other thing that hit me is that the purpose of spiritual disciplines (including the discipline of simplicity) is to take us into the desert - into places where we can move away from distractions, and hear, listen and pray.

hoping to live... but not living

2007-11-20T20:23:00.000-05:00

I read this quote from Blaise Pascal (French mathematician and theologian who lived in the 17th century) today - wow.

"We never keep our minds on the present moment. We remember the past, as if we wanted to slow down the passage of time. And we look forward to the future, as if we wanted time to accelerate. We wander about in times that do not belong to us, and do not think about the only time that does. We dream of times past and future, and flee from the present. The reason is that the present is usually painful. We push it out of sight because it distresses us - only on those few occasions which are truly enjoyable are we sorry to see time slip away. We try to reduce present pain with joyful hopes of the future, planning how we are going to arrange things in a period over which we have no control and which we cannot be sure of reaching... The past and the present are our means, and the future alone is our end. Thus we never actually live, but hope to live. We are never actually happy, but constantly planning how to become happy."

What a challenge to think about the present in a different way...

finally...

2007-11-20T20:05:00.000-05:00

I had one of those "moments" the other day. I love watching House, and regularly, at the end of a show, they have incredible songs - real poignant, and generally real chilled. I've been thinking for the last couple years "why don't they bring out a CD of those songs", and... they have!

I bought it yesterday - love it.

trust

2007-11-06T21:39:00.000-05:00

I've been doing more thinking about this whole trust issue (some of you know the reasons for that!), and yesterday, I journalled the following:

What have I learned about trust?

It’s about believing in the unknown – you don’t need to trust if you know the answer.

It’s about believing the best – trust is not expecting that the other party is going to do you wrong, but believing they want the best for you

It’s about not being in control – you don’t need to trust if you’re the one driving… if you’re in the passenger seat, you have to trust the driver knows where they’re going

It’s about moving into the undefined – not about a clear plan (so why keep trying to make them?!)

It’s loaded with patience – you have to be patient and wait for the outcome

It’s about peace – if you trust, you don’t stress, you just “are”, and you can exist in that moment, not worrying about the next

Still trying to learn how to trust...

the kingdom

2007-11-05T18:41:00.000-05:00

As you can see from my "reading" list, I'm reading "The Secret Message of Jesus" by Brian McLaren at the moment. In it, McLaren writes about how the imagery that Jesus uses of the Kingdom of God may not be as helpful for us, because Kingdoms are largely irrelevant to us, so he lists a number of alternatives that he's been pondering.

The one I love the most is the idea of the Dream of God - stronger language than the "wish" of God - so when Jesus says "the Kingdom is at hand", we could interpret that as "the dream of God is at hand". Because I've done a reasonable amount of thinking on the Kingdom, I hadn't connected the truth that for Joe Public, this is probably a foreign concept - I think I've actually been interpreting "Kingdom" along the lines of "dream", but haven't had the words to explain it.

I also love the idea of the network of God, and the dance of God - again, very powerful images which help me as I consider what it means to live according to "Kingdom values".

a prayer

2007-10-23T22:56:00.000-04:00

As I mentioned a couple weeks ago (the divine hours), I have been aiming to engage in midday prayers each day.

Today's "Concluding Prayer of the Church" was brilliant:

O Lord my God, to you and your service I devote myself, body, soul, and spirit. Fill my memory with the record of your mighty works; enlighten my understanding with the light of your Holy Spirit; and may all the desires of my heart and will center in what you would have me do. Make me an instrument of your salvation for the people entrusted to my care, and let me by my life and speaking set forth your true and living Word. Be always with me in carrying out the duties of my salvation; in praises heighten my love and gratitude; in speaking of You give me readiness of thought and expression; and grant that, by the clearness and brightness of your holy Word, all the world may be drawn to your blessed kingdom. All this I ask for the sake of your Son my Savior Jesus Christ. Amen

Amen is right!

making music

2007-10-17T19:52:00.000-04:00

I'm often amazed an in awe of writers who can put words into such beautiful pictures that they move me. I'm currently reading "The Secret Message of Jesus" by Brian McLaren, and he writes:

"Jesus forms a movement of people who trust him and believe his message. They believe that they don't have to wait for this or that to happen, but rather that they can begin living in a new and better way now, a way of life Jesus conveys by the pregnant phase kingdom of God. Life for them now is about an interactive relationship - reconciled to God, reconciled to one another - and so they see their entire lives as an opportunity to make the beautiful music of God's kingdom so that more and more people will be drawn into it, and so that the world will be changed by their growing influence." (p 83)

What a fantastic picture of participating in the word of God. In sharing with my friends Simon and Luke this morning, we talked about how different that is from the "to do list" version of Christianity so many of us are used to. It also struck me that the music is playing, all the time, in people's lives, including our own, and our role is to stop long enough and often enough to hear the music, and help others to hear it and be drawn into it and influenced by it.

the divine hours

2007-10-05T01:16:00.000-04:00

I re-read "Presence-Centered Youth Ministry" by Mike King (magnificent work that has shaped me a lot) a few weeks ago, and I'll probably put some key quotes up here soon (don't want to overwhelm you with book reviews!) One astounding comment which has changed my disciplines was this:

"I like midday [prayers] mainly because of the time of day it happens. Lunchtime is when I would set my course either toward or away from God. Midday is a great way for me to pause, reflect on God's character and invite him into everything I do throughout the rest of the day" - Nick, college student (p 135).

Those words smacked me between the eyes, and for the last while, I've been trying (at least when I'm at work) to implement them (I do hope to make it a routine every day, but one step at at a time...) A really useful site I've found is The Divine Hours. The great thing about the site is you can localise it to your timezone, and when you open it up, it comes up with morning, midday, evening (called vespers) and compline (to use just before you go to bed) prayers as appropriate. I've set a reminder in my calendar for noon and I stop whatever I'm doing, and take some time to work through the readings. As Nick says, it changes the direction and focus of the rest of the afternoon, and I try to take one main thought away to kind of digest throughout the arvo.

Give it a try and tell me what you think.

If anyone has any "portable" (ie PDA) versions you know of (I'm not always at my computer (!)), please let me know.

the ragamuffin gospel

2007-10-03T21:41:00.000-04:00

While I was on leave, I read "The Ragamuffin Gospel" by Brennan Manning. Manning is quickly becoming one of my favourite authors. I love his emphasis on a personal, relational, grace-full God, and the implication on us that this brings. I'll only give a couple of quotes here, because there are so many great things he says that I could fill up the page with them if I wrote them all out.

On Prayer:
" Pray as you can; don't pray as you can't (Don Chapman) ... A little child cannot do a bad colouring, nor can a child of God do bad prayer" (p 123-4)

On repentance and forgiveness:
"[The saved sinner] knows repentance is not what we do in order to earn forgiveness; it is what we do because we have been forgiven" (p 54)

On guilt:
"Preoccupation with self is always a major component of unhealthy guilt ... Yes, we feel guilt over sins, but healthy guilt is one which acknowledges the wrong done and feels remorse, but then is free to embrace the forgiveness that has been offered" (p 90)

On our past:
"Whatever past achievements might bring us honour, whatever past disgraces might make us blush, all have been crucified with Christ and exist no more except in the deep recesses of eternity, where 'good is enhanced into glory and evil miraculously established as part of the grater good'" (p 36)

On "needing" to feel loved:
"In trembling insecurity the disciple pleads for proofs from the Lord that her affection is returned. If she does not receive them, she is frustrated and starts to suspect that her relationship with Jesus is all over or that it never even existed. If she does receive consolation, she is reassured but only for a time. She presees for further proofs - each one less convincing than the one that went before" (p 89)

On the Kingdom:
"The Kingdom is not an exlcusive, well-trimmed suburb with snobbish rules about who can live there. No, it is for a larger, homelier, less self-conscious cast of people who understand they are sinners because they have experienced the yaw and pitch of moral struggle" (p 7)

To finish, a prayer Manning quotes from Charles Foucauld:

"Abba, I abandon myself into your hands. Do with me what you will: I accept all. Let your will be done in me and in all your creatures. I wish no more than this, O Lord. Into your hands I commend my spirit. I offer it to you with all the love of my heart, for I love you, Lord, and I give myself, surrender myself int your hands without reserve, with boundless confidence, for you are my Father" (p 94)

weeds

2007-10-02T23:32:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, I did my first weeding of our newly landscaped front yard (picture of my fantastic work down below...)

I can so see why Jesus decided to use weeds as an analogy - he must have done some gardening growing up, methinks. There's so much depth in it - the fact that if you deal with them early, they're easy to pull up, if you let them grow, they can get so interwoven with other plants it's hard to tell where one starts and the other finishes, sometimes you can pull weeds out, other times they just need to be sprayed, the plants grow a lot bigger and quicker when the nutrients aren't being stolen by the weeds... I could go on.

Apart from anything else, I'm going to keep trying to weed, just so that it reminds me to think of the weeding that I need to do in my own life.

everything old is new again

2007-09-27T08:01:00.000-04:00

I'm currently finishing up at the National Youth Ministry Conference on the Gold Coast (I know... suffering for Jesus), so I'll make this pretty brief (more thoughts when I get back to business next week).

As I've blogged previously, I've been doing lots of contemplating about contemplative practices. I've found these have been referred to a number of times up here (which both pleases and encourages me), but what I've heard (assuming it's true - it came from Tony Campolo, so you'd think it would be) today shows me that this is not the first time contemplation has been back in vogue. Apparently a lot of John Wesley's (yeah, that old guy to the left) theology and practice was shaped by these same practices, from reading St John of the Cross, St Ignatius and the like). I know my Dad (who has done a thesis on Wesley) will be pleased I'm looking into this, and I'm sure he'll have lots of resources waiting for me when I return...

I'll be very interested to look into that and see exactly how this man who shaped a movement was shaped by these amazing early Christian thinkers. Stay tuned.

oh my...

2007-09-18T20:43:00.000-04:00

Well, another month passes very quickly. Thankfully, I haven't been just sitting around doing nothing (I'd go mad!) I'm currently in the middle of a month off, which has been very refreshing, in lots of ways. I've accomplished two major goals which I'm very proud of...

Firstly, I've pretty much finished the renovations. All of the major, big jobs are done, and I'm really happy with the result. The most satisfying bit has been the landscaping out the front, because I did pretty much all of it (as opposed to the internal renos, which I finished off. There's something very satisfying about having a nice garden with a cool retaining wall that you've built yourself...

Secondly, I completed the 12 km City-Bay run on Sunday. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to make it, but my couple months of training paid off, and I did it in 1 hour 9 mins, which I'm pretty stoked with. Next year, my aim will be to break the 1 hour barrier.

Hope life's going well for you, too.

more on renovations

2007-08-15T23:23:00.000-04:00

We've been doing some renovations for nearly a year now. The builders finished long ago, but I've been slack and haven't finished off the painting and landscaping that needs to be done.

Ali made a comment the other day about not being able to remember the last time that she didn't feel "unsettled". When we talked more about it, we realised it was before our renovations started, and I agree. Our house isn't a mess or anything (well, no more than usual), it's just that as we walk around, subconsciously we know that things aren't as they should be.

So, I finally bit the bullet the other day and started to get back into painting, and as I was, I realised how much I need things to be "complete" - I love clean lines, clean painted walls, rooms that are arranged as they should be.

As I was painting the cornices in our passage on Tuesday night, I realised that God must be a renovator at heart. I'm passionate about getting our house looking "right", and I didn't even make it. How much more passionate must God be, then, about restoring us, renovating us - his creations? How much must he long for things to be "as they should be" - knowing how much more "settled" we'd feel, if only we'd let him do a DIY job on us? Sure, we function as we are, but there's so much more than merely functioning...

the miracle of renovation

2007-08-14T23:30:00.000-04:00

I read this awesome quote today...

When a new day dawns there speaks a voice, for those who have ears to hear, the voice of God, proclaiming: ‘Here is a fresh, unspoilt opportunity! Here is a clean page of the book; and even though some of the earlier pages have been full of blunders, smudges and mistakes which shame you bitterly to think of them, here is this page, untouched and spotless, waiting for the story you will write on it today. All the past is finished and forgiven. This is your hour of opportunity. I make all things new.’

That miracle of renovation can happen every morning. And all that you require, in order to know the joy and thrill of it yourself, is the resolve to begin each day by surrendering your life to God, as definitely as if you had never done it before… Every morning, to go down on your knees and say, ‘Dear God, I don’t ask to see the distant scene; but here, for the next twenty-four hours, is my life – I give it back to you, to guard, and bless and control!’ That is why the morning seasons of prayer and communion with God before the business of the day begins are so important – they give the daily divine miracle its chance to work out in your experience, and will make all things new and fresh and fair.

JS Stewart – The Strong Name (1940)

I love that comment - "the miracle of renovation can happen every morning". Wow.

what Josh is teaching me about God #5

2007-08-07T19:40:00.000-04:00

Last night, Josh was getting ready for bed, putting his pyjamas on, when I was struck by one of those "moments". We're trying to teach Josh how to do up buttons at the moment, but before we got to that, Josh asked me to help him put his top on (knowing that the button thing was next). I said to him "no, you can do it", to which he replied "help me, Dad".

My first instinct was to do it for him - put his shirt on, do up his buttons, but a remarkable thing came out of my mouth instead. I said "No, you do it - I am helping you, Josh". I knew that I wouldn't actually be helping him if I did it for him, but would be helping him far more if I helped him learn how to do it.

I immediately wondered how many times I call out to God, "help me, Dad". I also pondered how often God's first instinct is to take away our pain, remove our suffering, fix our problems, but in God's infinite wisdom, he chooses not to - knowing we learn far more by working through it ourselves, and that we can't become whole if someone always does up our buttons for us...

learning from sore muscles

2007-08-01T00:23:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, I had a personal training session at my gym, and I'm pretty sore today. I told my trainer to hammer me, and he certainly did that! But I feel good, because part of the reason I wanted to see him was because lately, when I've been at the gym, I haven't felt terribly sore after, so I've wondered how much I'm achieving. I know I achieved something yesterday!

There were a bunch of things I learned from him, but one which stood out was that part of the reason I've possibly not been hurting after my sessions is because I'm trying to do too much each time, rather than focussing on one muscle group, working that hard, then working another the next time I go.

Muscle is built most effectively by ripping the muscle, then allowing it to rebuild, then ripping it again (I can vouch for that today - ow!) When I go to the gym and work too many groups at once (arms, back, legs), I don't spend time on any particular area, drilling it, ripping it, so that it rebuilds. I just give them a little workout and don't achieve much. On the other hand, if I was to go and maybe work my triceps and calves one day, then back and biceps, then shoulders, core and upper legs, I would achieve much better results. By doing less each time, but being more focussed, I would in fact do more.

That made me reflect on my personal spiritual training. I probably operate the same way as I have been at the gym - generally covering some areas, but not in a focussed way. Perhaps I would be better served to "hammer" certain areas in prayer, Bible reading, other reading - working one area part of the week, and another at other times. Could be interesting to consider...

I also think there is possibly something there about working and resting - that again, muscle is build by drilling it, then giving it time to rebuild. That seems to give me even more reason to believe that rather than thinking of life (or ministry) as a marathon (as so many have said), my notion that it is rather a series of sprints (with adequate rest in between) is more valid, because if we just keep plodding (marathon-like), we'll get somewhere, but probably lose body weight, etc. By living by working real hard, then resting well, then working again - in theory, this should make us stronger. What do you think?

soul cravings

2007-07-27T01:25:00.000-04:00

I know - 2 posts in 2 days... incredible!!

I've just finished reading Soul Cravings by Erwin McManus. Here are some key thoughts that stood out to me from the book (I can't give you page numbers, because McManus breaks the book up by theme (cravings, destiny and meaning), then writes as journal entries - not sure how one would reference that in an essay!):

"God calls us out of the life we have known and calls us into a life we have never imagined"

"It's important to fully live each moment, but equally important to make sure that we do not live only for this moment."

"When you give up on hope, you become paralyzed in the present and begin to live in the past"

"Spirituality is more identified with tradition and ritual than it is with a future and a hope. Too often discipleship equals standardization"

"While religions have historically tried to make us the same, Jesus calls us to be different"

"Clearly we can't know everything ... Genius might be less how much you know and more the ability to know the right things."

And finally a quote from Cheng Yi which I think sums up my blog... "To exert thought is like digging a well. At first there is only muddy water. Later on, after one has done some drawing, clear water will come out. One's thoughts are always muddy at first. After a long while they will naturally be nicely clear"

another year older... amongst other happenings

2007-07-25T23:34:00.000-04:00

Well, once again, a number of weeks have passed, with no blogging. Ah, discipline... how you mock me...

Here's a brief overview of a couple of highlights of what's happened during this time. If you want any more info, you should leave a comment!

I bought a new camera - Panasonic FZ7 - very cool
We've run multiple "crazy" nights in our evening gatherings at RBC - been a lot of fun
In one of these (last Sunday night), I had part of my head shaved during the service
It's been really cold - and I've had 2 colds...
Watched the end of Heroes - brilliant
Prepared for the last episode of Lost (tonight, our time)
Josh and I just celebrated our 4th and 33rd birthdays last weekend.
We gave Josh a slot car set - sooo much fun (but it is his present... right?!)
I bought the new Smashing Pumpkins CD (I didn't even know they had a new one coming out) - Zeitgeist - as well as On a Clear Night (Missy Higgins) and Neon Ballroom (Silverchair). I've been wanting to get Neon Ballroom for ages, and finally found it for $10! Yeah!
I started a Facebook page - not sure why, yet... seems like the thing to do at the moment.

Obviously more than that has happened, but they're some highlights. Once Ignite (our evening service series) is over, I intend to make it a priority to blog at least once a week - you can hold me to it!

been a while...

2007-07-04T01:37:00.000-04:00

I confess I've been pretty slack on the blogging front of late. I'm not quite sure why - I think that it's probably because blogging is a discipline, and like lots of disciplines, I'm not great at keeping them. No, it doesn't take a lot of time to log on, write a few words, and post, but actually having something useful to say (I think there's more than enough trash on the internet without me adding any) is a different matter.

It's not because I'm too busy, either. I made a vow a number of years ago to never use that as an excuse for anything. I feel there are far too many people who wear busyness as a badge of honour - trying to say "I'm the busiest person ever". To me, if you say you're too busy to do something, it's because of one of two reasons - either your time management needs work, or you can't make whatever is being discussed a priority. (I don't have an issue with people prioritising, either - it's healthy - but don't use busyness as an excuse to get out of something you don't want to do!)

The fact of the matter is, I just need to bite the bullet and take some time out more regularly to reflect more. I'm meeting with my good friend Andrew Turner this afternoon, and I'm sure this will be one of our topics of discussion...

learning from a learner driver

2007-06-24T02:32:00.000-04:00

On the way to church this arvo, we went past a learner driver, and on the back of the car was a big sign saying "Be Patient".

It's so easy to get frustrated with people who are learning, and easy to forget that we all had to learn at some point, too. What a great reminder that if we are sitting behind a learner driver, we should be patient with them (something I excel at... ahem...), because the last thing they need is pressure, and they're not going to learn and develop if they can't be "on the road".

For all parts of life, I think the same applies - it's easy to get frustrated with those who are learning skills, and easy to forget our own path. What's more impacting for me, though, is that I need (humbling as it is) a big "Be Patient" sign stuck on my head, to remind myself to be patient as I'm learning, to remember that others had to develop over time, and weren't instantly great at the things they do.

Be Patient...

delayed gratification

2007-06-14T00:39:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking a bit lately about how much we are shaped by the instant gratification that our culture has sold us on. A lot of the decisions we make seem to be dictated by how I feel right now - whether I can be bothered making that phone call/sending that encouragement/going to the gym/reading that book/doing that cleaning.

Once again, the gym made me thing about it, because I was sitting at home on Tuesday, deciding whether I'd go or not. To be honest, I really didn't want to - I was happy at home, warm, had other things I thought about doing. But, I did go, and 1/2 way through my workout, I thought "why would I have wanted to miss how I feel now?"

I wish there was a way of experiencing how we are going to feel ahead of time. In other words, I wish my body/mind would allow me to know how I was going to feel after I'd been to the gym/finished the assignment I needed to do/ticked some things off my to do list/etc... but allow me to feel that as part of the motivation of actually doing it.

I wonder if that's where habits and rituals help. If we do something often enough, our body/mind is much better able to know how we are going to feel, and so give us extra motivation to get on and do it.

everybody needs good neighbours?

2007-06-10T21:53:00.000-04:00

Driving around yesterday, I was surprised to see 2 churches (a Baptist and a Uniting church) right next to each other - and I mean literally next door to each other. We were on our way to a family lunch, driving past as their services were finishing, and I found myself wondering why on earth 2 faith communities would want to set themselves up that close to each other.

The more I thought about it, the more amazed I became - think about it... at the same time yesterday, these 2 God-families were probably singing similar songs, listening to a preacher each, having tea and coffee, talking about the events coming up this week. It seems very odd to me. I guess it's no different to what happens all the time on a Sunday morning, it's just that this time, they were right next to each other.

We have issues at our church at times, with our neighbours complaining about the noise we make - I wonder if either of these churches ever find themselves frustrated at the "noise" of the other - one church singing songs while the other is trying to pray, for example...

Like I said, seems a bit odd to me...

change of address

2007-06-06T22:21:00.000-04:00

I decided to change my blog to a more logical (though some would doubt that I have achieved this) name, so my apologies if you've been wondering what happened to my old blog and have just stumbled over here. From now on, please update your favourites and links to http://randomcogitationist.blogspot.com

prayer

2007-06-04T03:44:00.000-04:00

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about prayer. Subconsciously, we seem to have this idea that prayer is about changing God's mind, or maybe about convincing God to do things the way we'd like to. We know that part of prayer is about what God wants, but there seems to be a bit of a mentality that I've seen (especially around church prayer meetings - not as much at our church, thankfully!) that if we do things right (get enough people coming, pray for long enough, hard enough, etc), then God will act.

I'm sure you've never heard (or prayed) things like "God, we just (why do we use "just" so much when we pray?) pray that you'll turn up tonight", "God, we pray you'll do this or that".

I'm actually starting to think that prayer is a lot more about me, than God. Sound ego-centric? Maybe. But what if I approach prayer from the perspective that I'm not trying to convince God, but trying to get his heart. In praying for someone I know who's sick, I'm trying to understand that God cares even more about that person than I do, I'm asking God to help me bring healing and restoration to them when I see them next. In praying for a situation, I'm trying to find out what God is thinking about/doing in that situation. In confession, I'm not telling God anything he doesn't know, but being honest with myself about my sin, and understanding how amazing it is that God forgives me.

It might seem obvious, but I don't hear many people talking about it, and I hear even less people praying like it. I guess it comes back to the core reason why I pray - do I pray to change God's mind, or to get God's heart?

good vs great

2007-05-31T22:29:00.001-04:00

I was thinking the other day about what makes the difference between those who achieve some good things in their lives, and those who achieve greatness, and it seems to me that the difference is not in the major decisions, but in the little ones. Part of the thought started because I'm struggling on a regular basis (especially at the moment, because it's cold, dark and raining) to be motivated to go to the gym - I'd really rather stay at home in the warmth (especially this week when I'm crook).

What strikes me is that the genesis of greatness is in the small decisions such as when you are lying in bed thinking "do I stay here for an extra 1/2 hour, where it's warm, dry, sleepy or do I get up and spend the extra time doing (insert something here)".

For athletes, it's the difference between choosing to stay at training a little bit longer when your body is already aching, and taking extra shots before or after practice, doing extra runs, or deciding to go in when everyone else does.

For musicians, it's the difference between choosing to go over the song that extra time, making sure that every note is covered, or deciding to go through the songs once or twice until you've got them under control.

For parents, it's the difference between choosing to spend that extra bit of time watching something you don't want to, reading that extra story, lying on their bed that little bit longer, playing for that extra 5 minutes, or deciding to do what you want (need?) to do.

For Jesus-followers, it's the difference between choosing to stop and listen, reflecting on the Words you've just read, making a conscious effort to make someone else feel loved, or deciding that you've done your devotion, you've served all day, and you want to put your feet up.

Note that in all of those things, the 2nd choice is not at all a cop-out - those people are putting in, most definitely. But greatness seems to come from making the small decisions to go that little bit further, do that little bit extra, give up that little bit more.

slow down...

2007-05-26T22:16:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, we had a men's golf day for our church. It was great - perfect weather, and our team (we played by the Ambrose scoring method) came second.

On the way to golf in the morning, I went past a sign that said "Slow Down". Given that I was driving through beautiful countryside, on a crisp morning, with the sun beaming in my windows, on my way to a morning of golf, this was a great reminder of what I was about to do - slow down.

But it got me thinking - I wish there were more "Slow Down" signs in my life - especially when there was danger around the corner. It would be so great if God could prop a Slow Down sign in front of me when I was about to enter a time of increased caution - a narrow bridge, a slick on the road, maybe part of the road where no lines were marked.

I think all of us need to be reminded from time to time that we can't keep going at the same pace all of the time - sometimes, if we want to keep going on the journey we're on, we need to take our foot off the accelerator, and be more aware of what is going on around us.

Slow down...

where's the time go...?

2007-05-25T00:27:00.000-04:00

I can't believe it's been nearly 3 weeks since I last wrote something on here... oops! It's funny how easy it is to just get bogged down in life, rushing from one thing to another, and not really taking any time to stop and think (and therefore have something to blog about...)

Part of my distraction has been that I finish up as the Director of Worship at our church this weekend. My role is returning to being solely focussed on ministry with youth and young adult's, which I can't wait for. For the last few years, I've been doing both roles, and it's been a lot of fun - there's been some challenges, but I believe (hope?) things are in a much better place now than they were when I started.

Now I get to focus in on my main passion, which I'm really blessed to be able to do. Hopefully I'll also get more time to read and reflect and post amazing, intelligent, deeply theologically, insightful comments on here (or at least what I've been thinking about, anyway).

This process has helped me sharpen what my primary calling and passion is, and challenged me to give up other things which I love and am passionate about, but which, ultimately are taking me away from the role I can play the best. What role do you play best and what's distracting you from it?

the star of the show

2007-05-07T22:13:00.000-04:00

My friends Simon and Luke and I have been reading through "Blue Like Jazz" by Donald Miller when we meet each fortnight - taking it a chapter at a time. Last week, we looked at the chapter on community (which I think is the one that challenges me the most). In it, Miller talks about how he (and I think most of us) function as though we are the star of the show - the central character in life - with other people coming onto our "stage" as we interact with them, saying their lines, then leaving.

I think this is deeply profound, because I know that's how I function most of the time - focussed on my lines, and whether people are adding or detracting to my story. Rarely do I consider what is happening in other people's stories.

It seems to me that if we each aimed to make other people feel like the stars (therefore being made to feel like a star by other people, instead of ourselves), true community would occur. It adds to the importance of listening, too, because in true listening we try to put ourselves in the other person's position - again, making them the star, rather than ourselves. It also to me embodies servanthood, because we aim to take the lowest position (the extra), rather than being the star.

tour guides?

2007-04-22T23:51:00.000-04:00

Last week, I had a conversation with my friend Andrew Turner, during which we were discussing spiritual direction. I was saying how I've been more and more taken by the importance of leaders (youth and young adult's leaders in particular) being spiritual leaders - people who assist those they are walking with to listen to the rhythm of God in their life.

Andrew made a profound comment which I intend to think more about. He talked about the difference between a tour guide, who goes with you on your journey, and points out important landmarks/icons that you might miss, as opposed to someone at an information desk, who gives you a brochure, and leaves you to find your own way.

I like the analogy of spiritual direction being along the lines of a tour guide - I am there as someone who has walked the route a bit more than the person I'm "guiding", to make sure nothing important is missed, but not to be one of those irritating tour guides, who never lets you explore anything on your own, or who talks so much that you never get to really experience it for yourself. Clearly, I'm going to have to go on some guided trips to some exotic locations so I can learn more about being a tour guide...

finding rest

2007-04-18T22:16:00.000-04:00

I was reading through Hebrews with my friends Luke and Simon a couple of weeks ago, and was taken by 4:9-11a...

So there is a special rest still waiting for the people of God. For all who enter into God's rest will find rest from their labours, just as God rested after creating the world. Let us do our best to enter that place of rest.

Part of the reason it stood out to me was because of the tiredness I feel at the moment, but since then, I've read or heard people talking about Sabbath or rest 4 or 5 times (obviously something I need to think about, right...?) As I've reflected on it, I've realised that most of the time I think about Sabbath or rest in terms of what I should not do - I shouldn't work, I shouldn't think about ministry, I shouldn't do certain things, etc. I've been trying to work out what re-creates me (don't have any real answers yet), so that I can do whatever that is as part of my rest, but I've also stumbled across something I've never heard anyone talk about before.

Andy Stanley spoke at the Willow Creek Leadership Summit last year, and he talked about the trust involved in making his decision to work 45 hours a week, so that he could make family the priority it deserved (feel uncomfortable about that idea? Maybe you need to think about it a bit more!) In doing that, he's had to throw himself back on God and say "God, I've given all I can, you need to do the rest" - something I think a lot of us don't do often enough.

But here's the bit that stands out to me. Sabbath is actually about trust. Sabbath is less about what we do (or don't do) and more about getting perspective. When I choose to have a Sabbath rest, I stop doing long enough to realise God can accomplish anything he wants without me, and that's very freeing. That's why it's a spiritual discipline, because it's (as I am starting to think most spiritual disciplines are) more about recognising who God is and what God's doing than it is about me.

To take a Sabbath is to hear God say remember who's the one who's actually at work here - you're a participant, sure, but it's my work. It is to hear God say this is about far more than just what you can do. It's to hear God say I'm at work in the hearts and lives of the people I love, so rest in the assurance that it's not all on your shoulders. It's to hear God say "I will give you rest", because "my yoke fits perfectly and the burden I give you is light" (Matt 11:29-30)

woody the philosopher

2007-04-06T08:34:00.000-04:00

I was reading a "Toy Story" book to Josh today, and in it was this very profound quote (taken from the movie):

"Look, over in that house is a kid who thinks you are the greatest, and it's not because you're a space ranger, pal. It's because you're a toy. You are his toy!" - Woody to Buzz

It's such a challenge to not let our identities be shaped by what we do (or who we think we should be). I find it so hard to understand that I am worthwhile, and it is not because of any of the titles I have or any of the things that I do, but because I am God's. Not God's toy in a negative way, but loved, adored, included, as a child loves a particular toy. I guess it's appropriate that I read that today, on Good Friday, as a reminder for why Jesus went through what he went through - so that we could truly, finally, completely be God's.

what josh is teaching me about God #4

2007-04-02T22:32:00.000-04:00

Today, we took the kids to a playground. I never ceased to be amazed at the way Josh's confidence changes at playgrounds. At first, he'll be all over it, climbing, sliding, jumping. Eventually, though, he gets to a point where he climbs something a little higher than he feels comfortable, and he starts to freak out a bit.

All it takes, though, is for me to walk over, let him know I'm there, that I've got him, that I won't let him fall, and he can keep going.

I know I react a lot like that on the playground that is life. I get all cocky, thinking I can handle whatever comes my way, until things get a bit out of control, then I look for God's hands to hold me, to remind me that actually He's got it all under control, and that he won't let me fall. While that's comforting, it grieves me to a degree, too. I shouldn't just reach out for God when things are tough, but need to realise He's actually enveloping me all the time, and that I need to involve him consciously in the pleasure of every part of daily life, not just when things get out of control.

trust issues

2007-03-29T21:03:00.000-04:00

Trust is one of the the most interesting things to me. Trust is something that is very hard to define, and even harder to live out. It's passive, and yet active. It's stressful and yet gives peace. It's hidden and yet obvious.

I remember having the conversations we all do with my parents about trust - particularly about driving cars. "It's not you that we don't trust (to not have a crash late at night), it's other people". Did they fully trust me, then - to be alert enough to other people, to be cautious (not that I probably was)? Even if they fully did trust me (which I don't think they did deep down - I know they wanted to, though), I don't think they were able to trust my position in the whole situation. Thankfully, they still let me drive, and their trust grew.

I find trusting God hard on the same level. Do I trust God? I think so. I try to. I want to. But do I try to take control of situations? Yep. Do I try to move ahead of God's timing? Yep. Why? The only reason I can see is because I actually don't trust Him completely. That's where the passive/active side of it comes in - is trust sitting and waiting for God to reveal His plans, trusting God's position in the whole situation? Sometimes. Is trust me stepping out in faith first - being active in my trust, knowing that as I do, my trust will grow? Sometimes. That's where I think trust becomes what it really is - a daily discipline. Some days, my trust will mean I need to be patient (something I'm terribly good at...) and wait, and not try and control. Some days, my trust will mean I need to do something - take a step, take a risk, trusting God has led me to do so.

That stresses me out (a ridiculous amount at times) - letting go of control, waiting; or alternatively stepping out in faith, without a clear answer before me. Yet it brings peace, because I know it's up to God, not me; because deep down somewhere I know God will act in the situation, and it's all going to be OK.

But I'm not really even slightly qualified to speak on the subject, so I'll leave it to someone I think should be listened to a lot more than me - Brennan Manning. These words have been messing with me and challenging me for 6 months now:

"The way of trust is a movement into obscurity, into the undefined, into ambiguity, not into some pre-determined, clearly delineated plan for the future. The next step discloses itself only out of a discernment of God acting in the desert of the present moment. The reality of naked trust is the life of a pilgrim who leaves what is nailed down, obvious and secure, and walks into the unknown without any rational explanation to justify the decision or guarantee the future. Why? Because God has signalled the movement and offered it his presence and his promise." - "Ruthless Trust" (p 12-13)

Wow.

listening

2007-03-28T00:28:00.000-04:00

I keep being challenged about being a better listener. It's coming from everywhere, too - books, movies, although no-one's told me I'm a bad listener yet (maybe I'm not listening...) Even last night, I sat down to watch The Simpsons, and there's a repeat of episode 1305 "Jaws Wired Shut", where Homer has his jaw broken and can't talk, so he has to learn how to listen, and is amazed at the results. Sometimes I wonder if I should have my jaw wired shut so I can learn to listen to what others say, but that wouldn't help me listen to God better, I'm sure.

I think it's just like everything else in my crazy, Western, full-of-unimportance life - I'm in too much of a rush to listen properly. I can't sit and listen to someone take a long time to say what they need to say - I've got other things to do! My friend Michael Novelli posted a quote from Henri Nouwen about listening on his blog, and I love the part that says:

"Listening is much more than allowing another to talk while waiting for a chance to respond. Listening is paying full attention to others and welcoming them into our very beings."

That's really at the core of me being a bad listener - I think my listening is about working out what I need to say to the person, not about trying to welcome another in - or even more aiming to grow in my empathy, to not only hear what the person is saying, but trying to listen to what's inside them causing them to say it.

So hard...

what Josh is teaching me about God #3

2007-03-26T19:23:00.000-04:00

Josh has started to, at random intervals, turn to Ali or I and say "I love you, Mum", or "I love you, Dad". It's very cute. Last night at dinner, out of nowhere, he started stroking Ali's arm, and said "I love you, Mummy". It almost doesn't matter what else he's been doing, it melts our hearts.

I don't say "I love you" often enough to God. I wouldn't use it as a way of getting out of trouble (as I think Josh does sometimes...), but need to remember how much it melts God's heart to hear me tell Him how I feel.

defrosting

2007-03-22T22:00:00.000-04:00

I spent about 2 hours defrosting our freezer last night - what a job. It struck me, though, as I waited for all that ice to melt so that we could actually put things in the freezer, and open the drawers (yes, it was that bad in places) that if I hadn't been so lazy, and had done something about it a couple of months ago when I first noticed the ice buildup, it wouldn't have taken me so long.

Then I started thinking... How often do I let "ice" build up in the freezer that is my own life and heart, and then it takes a massive operation, with hours of defrosting to get things right. Sure, God will happily chip away for hours at the ice that stops me operating properly (and is making me more inefficient), but it would be a lot easier for him if I subjected myself to his defrosting more often. Those big emotional moments we have are often because the door won't close anymore, or because the drawers won't open, or because we know we should be able to fit more in, but because of the buildup of ice, we can't. Even more reason to daily allow God to search me, and clean me out.

Of course, maybe I could become frost-free, somehow...

understanding comics

2007-03-21T12:40:00.000-04:00

I read a book called "Understanding Comics" by Scott McCloud. Fascinating book. If you hate reading, here's a book for you - it's all (and I mean all) in comic form! In it, McCloud takes us through the history and development of comics, how comics are put together, and why they have the potential to be so powerful.

Two things struck me, and both have to do with the way in which comics have the potential to powerfully shape us, because we fully enter into the stories and engage with them. The first reason for that is because (most) comics are simple drawings, and when we see a simple icon, we tend to see ourselves in it much easier than something that is photorealistic (if you don't believe me, read this book. If you can't be bothered finding the book, you'll just have to trust me). The second reason is because of the space between the panels, called the "gutter". In this blank space, we (the reader) must fill in the gaps between what happens in one panel and what we see in the next. Therefore, without even knowing it, our brains are entering into the story fully, because we have to. Out of this, what I interpret happens to move from panel to panel may be different to what you interpret might happen. (There are some lines about having your "mind in the gutter" here, but I'll leave them alone).

No wonder we all love comics so much - we engage with them almost more fully than any other source of media - books, tv, spoken word.

a comforting truth

2007-03-20T08:06:00.000-04:00

We watched "An Inconvenient Truth" today. A very disturbing movie. How anyone can remain unmotivated about doing something about global warming after seeing that movie is beyond me. Go to the official website if you haven't heard about it. If you haven't seen it, you should.

One of the things that did stand out to me, though, was a continued reflection from this blog entry about Bobby. Coming away from that, I spent considerable time pondering what would have happened had Robert F. Kennedy not been assassinated and had become President. With Al Gore, it's a very different matter, because he didn't miss out on becoming President because he was killed (obviously), but rather defeated in somewhat controversial circumstances. I don't know the full history (I intend to look into it a bit further), but it looks as if Gore potentially should have become President of the United States in 2000. As I pondered with Kennedy, imagine if Gore had become President instead of Bush...

However (and this is where the title of the post comes from), I find 2 things comforting about that the fact it didn't happen. The first is that if Gore had become President, his fight to focus on global warming (which is decades old for him) would have no doubt been distracted. How could he have continued to focus on global warming while dealing with the 9/11 attacks, for example (regardless of how differently he would have surely handled the last 6 years since then...)

The second encouragement is that Gore didn't just give up, but instead has (possibly) become even more "powerful" in some ways because of the course he's taken. Maybe not from a military or economic (although possibly) point of view, but politically...? I also seem to recall Gore being the butt of a lot of jokes around 2000 about his personality, etc. Look at him now - Leonardo DiCaprio salutes him at the Oscars! There's a fantastic lesson in there about sticking to what it is you are made to do, and not being knocked off course if things don't seem to go right, but seeing the opportunities that are presented to you and taking them.

what josh is teaching me about God (#2)

2007-03-12T05:37:00.000-04:00

Patience.

I probably don't need to add much to that, except that one of the things I'm learning is how patient I need to be with Josh - when I think he's got things sorted, all of a sudden, he'll lapse back into old behaviours, doing things we've talked about before.

In those moments, I hear the still, small voice inside gently remind me... "sometimes I have to be like that with you, you know..." I remember the number of times I lapse back into old behaviours, the number of times I do things God has talked to me about before, the number of times I lose focus and drift. Good thing He's a better Dad than I am...

expectations >> results

2007-03-11T20:57:00.000-04:00

Last night we visited another church as part of my holidays. As I was on the way there, I realised that the expectations we have of "church" (whatever that looks like) will drastically impact on our critique of the service(s) we attend. If you believe that church should be a rock concert, and the music or the sound or the style of songs is below par, you'll be let down. If you believe that church should be a place where someone will preach an incredible message and give you a word from God, and that doesn't happen, you'll be let down. If you believe that church should be a place where you can meet with your family in Christ, belonging, caring and being cared for, and that doesn't happen, you'll be let down.

I'm having an extended conversations with my friends Simon and Luke about what church is, or what they think church should be, because I think we have a "default" belief of what church should be (based on our history, experiences (positive and negative), perpetuated myths, culture, etc) and this understanding is not always Bible-based, and not necessarily what we would believe if we spent some time really reflecting. I have no issue with people critiquing church, as long as they've really thought through what church should be, and are willing to be part of the solution to making church even more like it should.

bobby

2007-03-09T20:03:00.000-05:00

Ali and I went to see the film "Bobby" yesterday. It's the story of Robert F. Kennedy's assassination, and the story of the lives of the other people who were shot that day. They did a great job of telling the stories of 22 people without making it confusing, and brought those characters together really well at the climax of the film. I personally found myself drawn to the characters played by Anthony Hopkins and Laurence Fishburne - both wise, sagely, reflective men.

Something that stood out to me was the power that words can have, and a musing on whether people are aware, in the moment, that the things they're saying will end up defining not only them, but their times. The Kennedy speech at the end of the film moved me to the core.

I was also struck by the reality that the issues Kennedy seemed to be fighting against seem to be the same issues we're still fighting today - wars where people are senselessly killed, questions over why those battles are even being fought, racism, bigotry, the need for unity, peace. Consider if these words (with a couple of obvious substitutions) are as valid now as they were nearly 40 years ago...

"I think we can end the divisions within the United States. What I think is quite clear is that we can work together in the last analysis. And that what has been going on with the United States over the period of that last three years, the divisions, the violence, the disenchantment with our society, the divisions - whether it's between blacks and whites, between the poor and the more affluent, or between age groups, or in the war in Vietnam - that we can work together. We are a great country, an unselfish country and a compassionate country. And I intend to make that my basis for running." Robert F. Kennedy, hours before his assassination.

a whole new mind

2007-03-08T18:12:00.000-05:00

I just (finally) finished reading "A Whole New Mind", by Daniel Pink (Riverhead, 2005) which my good friend Chris gave me while I was in the US last year. It's a very insightful book, which talks about the need for us to develop "R-Directed Thinking ... [thinking] directed by right-brain attribute, toward right-brain results, focussing on developing six new "senses" - Design, Story, Symphony, Empathy, Play and Meaning.

I found it very helpful as someone who calls himself a "floater" - floating between what I would crudely (and probably terribly inaccurately) define as modern and post-modern thinking. I found myself realising that many of the frustrations I feel are because I want to function out of these senses, and yet know I need to spend time deliberately cultivating these senses, as they are not part of my "default" way of thinking. His "portfolios" at the end of each chapter, with practical ways to develop these abilities are a great way to explore which of these are natural and which need more work.

I highly recommend this book if you are spending time contemplating why you don't fit in with many of the structures and modes of thinking around you...

what josh is teaching me about God (#1)

2007-03-08T08:14:00.000-05:00

I regularly am amazed at the things my son Josh teaches me about God. It shows me so clearly how God is our perfect Father, and I'm so not perfect... but in the midst of my inadequacy, I hear God whispering to me - "that's how I feel about you". This happens regularly enough that I thought I'd start a list. Here's the first.

What is quickly becoming one of my favourite parts of life is at the end of each day, when Josh goes to bed. Each night, he asks me to stay with him, after we've read stories, thanked God for the cool stuff that's happened during the day. Ali leaves, and it's just the two of us, lying on his bed. I really want this to become a time when he knows he can share anything with me - his fears, his worries, asking him what the best part of his day has been, using a contemplative practice I mentioned here... contemplative youth ministry). Josh is only 3, so most of that goes over his head, and he talks to me about Buzz's incredible jumping ability (he's right into "Toy Story 2" at the moment), or about who's got a store in "Cars". However, and this is the bit God is teaching me, what I value is the time when we just lie there, being together, and what I yearn for is to know what's going on in his mind and soul. I know that's what God wants from me, too, not my idle chatter about things that aren't important (although he tolerates that), but to really talk, and get to the heart of what I'm thinking, hoping, worrying, wishing for and about.

contemplative youth ministry

2007-02-27T23:13:00.001-05:00

I've just finished reading "Contemplative Youth Ministry" by Mark Yaconelli (2006: Youth Specialties). It's a brilliant book for those who are struggling with what it means to be involved in youth ministry, or just starting out in youth ministry. While some of the comments in it are more geared towards the North American market, there are some pearls in this book that should make it recommended reading (even if you don't agree with it all, it's worth being challenged by some of Yaconelli's thoughts). Some key points that stood out for me:

"Contemplation means "being" with God within the reality of the present moment. Contemplation is about presence [Yaconelli discusses being "present" with students later]. It's about attentiveness - opening our eyes to God, ourselves, and others." [p 23]

"If love is a gift, then the first step in living into that love is to surrender. We need to stop trying to make kids love God (or make God love our kids) ... Once we admit that we are powerless to turn kids into Christians, we can recognize that ministry is a series of small acts of trust. It's more about yielding to what is already present and available than it is about creating or building." [p 72]

The table on pages 79-80 talking about the difference between anxiety and love displays in a very helpful way the two mentalities we can have about youth ministry (I know which one I'd rather be involved with!)

"The love of God is often more powerful and transformative in these small acts of love [talking about Jesus' acts of kindness] than in the lights, energy, and charisma of large outreach events. What if we became more aware of the small ways in which we engage young people? What if our ministry was about giving rides home, sharing snacks, opening doors, helping carry book bags, and giving compliments when a young person has taken great care in his appearance? ... We become aware, as Jesus suggests, that in these acts of love we're not just carrying a book bag for a young person, we're also making contact with Jesus. We begin to feel more and more that we're participating in God's mission of love, rather than serving some moral ideal." [p 115-116]

"Youth ministry is about holding a young person's deepest identity until he or she is able to see it too" [p 121]

The awareness examen [discovered by Ignaitus of Loyola] is a tool I intend to use with my leaders, my students, but also myself. It "asks you to review a particular encounter ... and prayerfully ask two questions: For what moment am I most grateful? For what moment am I least grateful?" [p 132]

"Our first task as youth ministers is to be with young people just as Jesus was with people" [p 180]

"One of the first ways we can help youth become more aware of their life in God is to point to the moments when Jesus seems near" [p 183]

"The purpose of integrating contemplative presence in youth ministry is not to turn kids into monks, nor is it to make us experts in contemplative prayer; it is to deepen our awareness of God, others, and self so that we might become fully alive ... Engaging kids solely in contemplative exercises is unnatural, because contemplative prayer does not lead to more contemplative prayer - it leads to authentic action" [pp 230-231]

Lots to ponder...

really letting go

2007-02-25T18:59:00.000-05:00

We had our youth camp over the weekend, and God did some amazing things in the lives of our students. On Saturday, we had lots of issues - things that distracted us from what God wanted to do, things that were fracturing relationships, causing friction - and yet despite this (or maybe because of this) on Saturday night, God broke through in a powerful way. We had the students write down things they needed to give up to God, and then have them come forward and burn them. There was a sense that our students had often given up lots of things to God, but kept taking them back, so as a symbol of this, we wanted to let them have a way of knowing they'd let go and these things were now gone - unable to be read, picked up, looked at. It was a powerful time of restoration, as the students (many of them amidst great pain) processed what it meant to let these things go, and then did. We offered them the opportunity at the end of that time to come forward and allow the image of the ashes and fire burning to be captured in their minds, to help them this week when they are tempted to take those things back. Many of them took this opportunity (and we took some video footage of the same image), and I think it's going to become a useful tool to keep reminding them of the deep work God did in their lives.

updated picture of acts 2

2007-02-22T02:09:00.000-05:00

I had coffee this arvo with an old friend - Matt Hawke - and as we revisted old times, one of the things I reminded him of was the best definition I've ever heard of young adult's ministry... that he wrote. As we talked some more, I realised it's actually a perfect contemporary picture of the acts 2 community I'd love to be a part of...

"I dream of finding a group of young people who share my passion, to which I can belong and in which I can feel safe. I dream of laughing, playing, crying, coffee-ing, movie-ing and worshipping with the group. I dream of finding a smaller set of people, maybe just a few or a couple, with whom I can be totally and plainly honest, open and real. I dream of finding people who love me for me - yes I mean it."

being God's kid

2007-02-20T20:05:00.001-05:00

As someone learning to be a Dad (and trying to be as good a Dad as I can), there are so many times when I reflect on my relationship with my kids, and am blown away that God thinks of me like that. That he loves it when I just sit in his arms and relax. That he loves to hear about my day. That he loves to hear me talk about the things I'm worried about. That he loves to make me feel loved and safe. As I once heard, God is not a reflection of our earthly fathers (ie "if you look at your father, God is a better Dad than that"), it's the other way around - we who have the privilege of being called fathers are a reflection of the perfect Dad, and all the best things about our fatherhood come from his relationship with us.

what's important

2007-02-19T00:38:00.001-05:00

Today, I had the privilege of sitting down for a couple of hours with one of our youth leaders (what an awesome group they are - I'm so blessed) to talk about some things that he was going through. It reminded me that this is what I live for - everything else is just about creating an opportunity to enter into someone else's life, journey with them for a while, seek God together, and (hopefully) grow and move deeper in our understanding of and love for God. It's so easy to get distracted by all the other things that we who are involved in youth ministry can be distracted by - running programs, organising studies, making creative multimedia, shaping bands to lead worship. There's nothing wrong with any of those things, but if they become the master, we're on a slippery path. They all exist to allow us to spend those magic minutes (or hours) engaging the heart and soul of the people God gives us.

making God happy

2007-02-15T22:17:00.001-05:00

My beautiful wife, Ali, got me thinking the other day. We were talking about what we like, and she said she wanted to get better at doing at least one thing every day to make me happy (I told you she was awesome!) That got me thinking about how deliberately I am (or am not, more to the point) trying to do at least one thing every day to make God happy, and what I could do if I did (a point my friend Simon Giles raised earlier this year). I sensed God saying the thing I could do more to make Him happy the most would be to spend more time with him each day. What about you?

restoration

2007-02-11T17:35:00.001-05:00

I've been blessed to connect with my friends with Sonlife USA, Chris Folmsbee and Michael Novelli, who work with a very helpful framework centred around the whole story of God. In short, it's about understanding that God's plan has always been a plan of restoration - God is all about restoring the world to himself and to each other. We then have a wonderful role to play as "agents of restoration" within this plan - people who help others to see they are restored to God and helping restore people to each other (including in our own relationships). I've been developing some training material around this with Youth Ministries Australia, but it's been as I've unpacked this in my own thoughts that it's impacted me the most. I preached at our am and pm services yesterday, and I continue to be amazed (don't know why!) that the language of restoration flows through everything, no matter the topic.

initial thoughts

2007-02-10T00:16:00.000-05:00

So, a blog, eh? I hope to use this blog to document some of my journey with God, as I seek to become who I was born to be.