Friday 40 for 40s - #6: money

Item #5 that I'm learning I can't change is:

I can’t get back $ that I’ve already spent

(see here for the full list)

One of the goals that I set as I turned 40 was to meet with our financial advisor to talk about the state of our finances, how we're doing with saving for retirement and what to do about life insurance.  I feel like we're in an ok place with these things, but I admit I have pretty limited knowledge, so an informed opinion was very welcome.

It was great to be able to look forward and do some planning, but I have to admit it's reminded me about some of the decisions that I made earlier on - especially in my 20s.  I have no idea why I bought so many cassingles (if you're under 30, I'm sure you have no idea what those are) and have a vivid memory of the one time I spent a hideous amount on some basketball shoes that never quite felt right.  If they'd been a pair of Jordans, I'm sure the regret would have been much lower...

I think back on some of those choices and would love to tell my 20-something self to put that money to better use - preferable somewhere that would have earned some interest and have me further ahead than where I am now.

However, as the purpose of the list states, I can't change those choices, but it is a huge motivator now to be more conscious of where I am spending money, recognizing that once it's spent, that's it and I can't get it back.  As I move forward, I want to make sure I'm continuing to use the money we've got in ways that are most effective and impacting for the short, medium and long term. 

Friday 40 for 40s - #5: The kids

Item #7 that I'm learning I can't change is:

Our kids will never be this age and stage again

(See here for the full list)

Josh and Rachel went back to school on Monday - Grade 6 and 4 this year...

As part of my reflections on turning 40, I wanted to think through what was most important about the next 10 years.  One of the most startling realizations was that 10 years from now, Josh will be 21 and Rachel will be 19.  Whoa.

That revelation was a huge motivator for me to make sure that I really made them a priority over the Summer.  I know that there are only a limited number of Summers left where we'll have their full attention and so I'm grateful that I made lots of good choices about giving them my full attention, creating memories and spending lots of time with them.

When we first had kids, we got the same advice from lots of parents - embrace every stage, because they grow up so quickly.  That advice was 100% correct and I know that looking back, there are already stages that I really miss or have almost completely lost memory of.  As I step into my 40s, my desire is to make sure we are embracing these next ages and stages (as much as I am terrified about having a sassy teenage daughter), recognizing that each stage will only happen once and then it's gone.

I have already learned that every stage has it's joys and challenges and one of my major goals is to not look back with regret about having missed the joys or the challenges, especially if I missed them because I was doing things that I realized later were not actually that important.

In the end, it's all part of the same theme I'm focusing on more and more... be present in the moment but make choices based on what's going to matter in the long-term.