Friday 40 for 40s - #11: leveraging natural talent

Item #2 that I'm learning I can't change is:

Natural talent will not take me any further than it has – only hard work and discipline will take me beyond the level I am today

I've always been someone who has had a moderate level of natural ability in a number of areas - I can play a couple of musical instruments, have a reasonable level of sporting ability (I can generally hit, throw and catch most balls) and have a decent ability to think linearly and strategically.

As I turned the page into my 40th year, I've realized that most of those natural talents are probably going to decline in the years to come.  That's not supposed to sound defeatist, I simply know that my physical and mental capacities will never be as sharp as they were when I was in my 20s or 30s.  Rather than feel bad about that, I recognize it means that I need to be more disciplined and diligent at working on the areas that I want to either keep or develop further.

Looking back, I can see that in my teens and 20s, I was convinced that if I could just tap more into my natural talents, I'd magically improve.  I quickly began to realize that I would never have the musical ability of a Matthew Bellamy or Daniel Johns, the sporting ability of a Michael Jordan or LeBron James or the leadership capacity of a Warren Buffet or Andy Stanley.  However, as I've matured and learned more about those people and many others, I've discovered that even with the natural ability they had, each of them maximized what they had been given through sacrifice, hard work and discipline and that whatever ability I had or will ever have, I need to make the same choices.

One of my biggest hopes for this next decade is to focus more and more on the opportunities that God puts in front of me while also zooming in on the areas where I have above average natural gifting, learning, reading and training about what it means to leverage those strengths to be as effective as I can be.

Friday 40 for 40s - #10: Memories

Item #15 that I'm learning I can't change is:

Most memories only stay strong if they are accessed and reminisced regularly

As we turned the page from 2014 to 2015 I spent some time sorting our photos for 2014, including making a folder of the best of 2014.  I've realized that if I don't do this each year, we simply have too many photos to easily look through (the curse of digital photography...), but having a smaller sample of these photos allows us to easily flick back through the year and remember all that happened.  At some point I'm hoping to take these photos and make a movie with some of our favourite songs from last year to make it even easier (and more enjoyable) to look back on.

One important reason why I've made this a priority is because I'm convinced that a lot of what we do and don't remember (especially from our childhood and adolescence) is tied to how frequently we access memories around those times.  For our kids, they have clear memories of a few trips that we've taken because we made photo books of those trips and try to pull them out on a regular basis.  Seeing the places we went to and key moments we had help the memories to stay fresh in their minds.

I've become more and more aware of the importance of journalling for the same reason.  Journalling is an important spiritual discipline for me because I find it helpful to be able to get out on paper how I'm feeling, what I've been processing and what's on my mind as I head into each day.  However, last year on one of my personal retreats, I took my journals with me and re-read them and was grateful to be able to reflect on and be transported back to specific moments and to realize areas where I'd grown, where I'd changed and also where I'd still not taken the opportunity to move on in certain areas.

As someone who is wired to look forward and to focus on what needs to be "fixed", I know how important it is to be able to look back and remember, to be reminded about the good things that have happened (not just the mistakes or missed opportunities), to practice gratitude for all the everyday moments and significant events and to be able to see where things have changed and moved.

Looking forward to seeing how it all unfolds in 2015!

Friday 40 for 40s - #2: 168 hours

Items #10 and #11 that I am learning to accept I can't change were: 

There are 168 hours each and every week – no-one else has any more (or less) time than I do.

I have full control over how I spend those 168 hours.

(See here for the full post).

It is remarkable to me that every person on earth has the same number of hours as I do.  All of us...  The people who've made the biggest difference in the world.  The people I respect the most.  The people who've impacted my life the greatest.  They have or had 168 hours each week.  And so do I.  

Think about that for a moment.  Ghandi: 168 hours.  Martin Luther King: 168 hours.  The people who've written books that have changed my thoughts: 168 hours.  People who've created amazing music: 168 hours.  My mentors: 168 hours.  

None of those people found the magical extra day that we'd all love to have, nor did they somehow manage to make time stand still or slow down.  They had the same time as you and I.  And yet they were able to create, impact, change.  With 168 hours.  

It is therefore not because I don't have enough time that I am not having the impact I'd like.  It's because of how I choose to use that time, hence the second item above.  It's all about what I choose to do with the 168 hours I've been given each week that makes all the difference.  

When I've shared this in different settings, I'll often break it down further to say that if we work a normal job (40 hours/week), sleep the amount that's currently recommended (8 hours/night), allow 30 minutes for each meal (probably overly generous) and 1 hour for personal items (looking after ourselves, grocery shopping, etc), that still leaves over 40 hours every week at our disposal and it's scary to realize most of us probably don't know where much of that time goes, nor have we made conscious choices about what we want to do with it.  

I continue to be challenged by the truth that I am able to choose how I spend my 168 hours.  I chose the career I have.  I accepted the job I'm in.  I choose when I sleep and wake.  I choose what to do with those other 40 hours.  I am constantly making choices... or at least I should be.  

As I move beyond 40, I'm excited about focusing more and more on how I use all of my time, to make the most of the hours that I'm given, to make my 168 hours count.

Friday 40 for 40s - #1: 40 things I can't change

This is the first of 40 posts that I'll be doing that come from my reflections on turning 40 (see this previous post for details).

One of the key things I wanted to do was to write down 40 things that I know I can't change but often forget I can't change.  My desire is to learn to accept these realities and learn from them - letting go of stressing about them, making changes to reflect them, changing priorities to recognize them.

Many of the other 40 for 40s will be expanded versions of these thoughts, but for now, here's the list... in no particular order.  Note that this is not meant to be an ultimate list, simply the list as it's come to mind.  I'm sure by the time I'm 50, there'll be a whole lot more I will have learned I can't change.

40 things I can’t change
1. Anything about my past – there is no point in having regrets
2. Natural talent will not take me any further than it has – only hard work and discipline will take me beyond the level I am today
3. I will never be younger than I am
4. Vacations are not real life – you always have to come to back to reality
5. I can’t get back $ that I’ve already spent
6. The grass is never greener on the other side
7. Our kids will never be this age and stage again
8. Gratitude is the only cure for consumerism
9. The weather – it is what it is and complaining or begrudging it will not change it
10. There are 168 hours each and every week – no-one else has any more (or less) time than I do
11. I have full control over how I spend those 168 hours
12. Exercise will never be something I jump out of bed wanting to do
13. God’s love for me, as shown in Jesus’ life, death and resurrection
14. There are more places in the world that I’d like to see than I will have resources and/or time to visit
15. Most memories only stay strong if they are accessed and reminisced regularly
16. If I don’t get something done, it’s because I made whatever else I did a higher priority
17. Integrity takes a long time to earn, but only seconds to lose
18. Every day, there is more new information being added to the internet than I can possibly keep up with
19. 20 seconds of courage is all it takes to overcome most obstacles
20. Any mistakes I’ve made – but I can learn from them
21. There will always be someone who is better at something than I am
22. I am not going to become a professional athlete
23. Being a great husband and father is as much about being fully present as it is about anything else
24. It is possible to find some good in every situation
25. I am not perfect and neither is anyone else I interact with
26. There will always be more books to read, movies to watch, sports to watch, TV shows to discover and music to listen to than I will have time for
27. I have been adopted into God’s family
28. Offering forgiveness is as important for me as it is for the other person
29. More money will not make me significantly happier
30. The moment I purchase new technology, it’s already been superceded
31. The time I go to bed has a direct correlation to how well I function the next day
32. I cannot guarantee the result of any sporting event I think about attending
33. I will never regret having spent more time with our kids, but I will regret having spent too much time doing anything else at the expense of spending time with them
34. Once you live anywhere for an extended period of time, it becomes normal and ceases to be exotic
35. Being a Pastor means accepting that there is never a moment when I can say “I have reached the finish line”
36. I am significantly sharper and more motivated when I work out at least 3 times per week
37. We live in an era of constant change
38. There is very rarely a “perfect” moment for anything
39. I will barely remember completing the level on any game I play 12 months from when it is completed
40. It’s better to focus on how much I don’t know, rather than how much I do

Monday Musings - how to be less stupid

I read this article last week, mostly because of the awesomeness of the title (warning, if you do read it, there is some mild language) and I loved one of the first lines that Altucher wrote:

Subtraction, and not Addition, is what makes the window to the brain more clear.

Fantastic.

Most of us would argue that if we could only learn more, add more knowledge to our memory banks, develop broader expertise, that would make us smarter.

However, I totally agree that it's likely a bit of spring cleaning is in order and we need to de-clutter.  If only we could all let go of the list of things Altucher suggests we subtract (love that he only came up with 9... I'm sure we could all add many more to it), who knows how much smarter we would become.  As we let go of other people's expectations, guilt, regret, the need to control - imagine the creativity, excitement, sense of freedom we would experience.  There is definitely a lot of clutter in my mind that could do with some clearing out to create extra room for healthy thinking...

I also know that for me, I'm far more productive and effective when I have less that I need to focus on.  When I try to be all things to all people, when I try to stay on top of everything, I'm actually far less capable.  As the genius folks at Steam Whistle say... we all need to try to do one thing, really, really well.  (Clearly they do marketing well, because I didn't even need to look that up...) 

Our church family is focused has the concept of simplicity at the centre of who we are - that "we value uncluttered lives (yep, that's the official wording!), which free us to love boldly, give generously and serve joyfully".  Whenever I unpack that with people, I'm quick to remind them that the value of simplicity is about far more than just living on less money so we can give more away (although that's part of it).  It's also about subtraction - having fewer relationships, fewer responsibilities, fewer things that are demanding our attention and resources, so that we can be more generous with what is left - the key people in our lives, the priorities we want to set.

Obviously there are many things that pull for our attention, but I wonder how much more healthy, effective and excited we would be if we were able to take some time to remove some of the clutter and junk, get rid of some of the areas of our lives that are actually not that important and put our priorities in their right places.  I know I could benefit from being a little less stupid...

What do I need to de-clutter in my mind - others' expectations? guilt? regret? resentment?
What do I need to let go of, so that I can have a greater sense of focus on what's important?
What areas of my life can I simplify and cut back, so that I can be more generous?

Monday Musings (on Tuesday) - reflections from a great weekend

This past weekend, we held our Downtown Toronto retreat - what an awesome time away.

The focus of the weekend was "Greater Things" as we processed John 14:12:

"Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father."

Together we unpacked various elements of what it means to be part of God's great restoration project and the ways in which we can enter in and receive the culture and values of God's original design and vision for us.  Oh, and we had a groovy 70s dance party...

As I come back from the retreat, I'm so inspired and amazed at this incredible community that we're part of.  One of the activities we did during the retreat was to get people into groups who all focus on the same area - hospitality, education, business, science, arts - to talk about what those principles look like in a practical way.

It was incredible to hear the ideas that the groups came up with and to be reminded again about the ways in which God is at work in every sphere of life that we are involved in and seeking to bring restoration, wholeness and purpose to our every day lives.

My prayer for each of us is simply this... "God, help us be more aware of your presence in our lives, so that we can be more involved in your amazing restoration project."

How aware am I of God's presence in and around me right now?
Where is God at work in my life today?
How is God inviting me to partner with him in that?

Monday Musings - innovation vs preservation

Last week, I read this article that's been floating around for the last little while - I'm sure many of you have read it, too.  It's a fascinating account of a Google ex-employee - I'd assumed it was going to be someone firing up about something controversial, but in actual fact, it's a pretty balanced account of one person's perception of the shifting culture at Google.

While it's always important to be careful to remember that we all have our own perspectives which sway how we look at the world, from a philosophical angle, the article triggered a couple interesting thoughts for me...

Google has always been one of the companies people would say was in their top 5 desired workplaces.  The facilities (cool place to work), the 20% rule (being given 1 day per week to work on a side project of your choosing), huge innovative environment (new ideas and new products all the time)... who wouldn't want to work there?

All of us have a desire to be in a place where we're appreciated, where we have the opportunity to dream, to come up with new ways of doing and where we don't just have to accept the Status Quo.  Certainly in the world I spend most of my time, I'm very aware of that - the young (and even some of our older people) who are part of our churches are looking for a place that has a clear core (core values, core principles), but plenty of room to organically explore what that looks like.  When it does... look out.

What does seem to have shifted at Google is the sense of "we now have to not only protect what we have, but we have to be like them so we can keep being at the centre".  To me, that's the most dangerous attitude for anyone to have.  As soon as we start focusing more on preservation than innovation, we're done.  I remember Charlie Walsh, who worked with cyclists at the Australian Institute of Sport, saying that if we stand still and try to hold on to where we are (even if that's number 1), if we just keep doing what we've been doing, others around us are innovating and thinking of new ways to catch us and will overtake us.

Equally dangerous is to look at what someone else is doing and say "they're starting to take some of the number 1 from us - let's do what they're doing, only better (because we're number 1) and we can keep our number 1 place."  Obviously, in this context I'm not talking about organizations that are already focused on similar areas.

In the church, sadly, I've seen this play out time and again - we focus too much either on trying to hold on to what we have (preservation) or we focus on what others are doing and say "if we were just like that, then we'd be back in the centre" (could play out in terms of looking at copying things that are successful in culture or in copying what other churches are doing).

For me, I desperately want to be part of a community that knows who they are and what they're on about - knowing what's at the heart and core of who we are.  With that locked in, I then want to create opportunities for us to innovate, experiment and try new things, knowing all the time that we're holding on to what makes us "us".  Sure, I want to learn from other people, other churches, other organizations and the culture around me, but in the end, I want to be able to allow the DNA that we have to produce organic fruit that is reflective of exactly where we are.  What about you?

What areas of my life do I feel like I have to protect?  Why?
When am I guilty of looking at what others are doing and thinking "I need to do that so that I can be as successful as them?"
How am I helping create organic, innovative community?  

Monday Musings - God the gardener

The weather here in Toronto has certainly been very strange - super cold and snowing one day, even colder but clear another,and then it's supposed to be 20 on Thursday!  Wow.  Spring is certainly on the way and I absolutely love T.O. in the spring - the way everything comes back to life, colour abounds, the birds start their chorus... beautiful.

With that comes the responsibility of getting the garden back in order.  Our front yard in particular is a mess, because in the late fall, the city replaced all of the lead water pipes and pretty much destroyed our garden in the process (we'll see how survived and comes up in a few weeks).

I often refer to gardening as a really helpful analogy when we think about leadership in a church context.  There's an element where we have responsibility - preparing the ground, ensuring there's enough nutrients, making sure the garden is laid out in the correct way so everything gets the right amount of sun, pruning and weeding...  However there's only so much we can do - the rest requires us to sit back, be patient and allow the growth to happen naturally.

In our leadership roles, there's definitely work to be done - preparing the ground (setting good foundations), ensuring there's enough nutrients (teaching, discipling relationships, resourcing), making sure things are laid out correctly (the right people in the right roles, good structure), pruning and weeding (working through issues, helping people address sin in their lives, dealing with conflict).  In the end, though,  it's up to God to do the work in people's lives - the organic growth that only God can do.

One of my favourite verses is the Message translation of James 1:21:

In simple humility, let our gardener, God, landscape you with the Word, making a salvation-garden of your life.

What is the current state of my garden?
During this season, what work do I need to do to prepare for more growth?
In my sphere of influence, how much am I responsible for?  What do I need to leave with God?

Monday Musings - from the top of Whistler...

Right now, I'm actually on top of (or half way up...) Whistler - ah the wonder of technology these can come out at the same time each week.

I'm here with my family and my parents and we're having an incredible time.  I've never really seen mountains, so to see the Canadian Rockies has been an unforgettable experience.  The views from the plane as we flew over them were a great first taste, but nothing has compared to being here, driving through them, walking amongst them.  It's been nothing short of spectacular - the grandeur, the majesty, the snow-capped trees... wow.

It took me a number of weeks to decide whether I would do what I'm doing right now or not - snowboarding at Whistler.  It's mighty expensive to snowboard (or do anything...) up here, I've only snowboarded once before, I was terrified about taking a double-black diamond run by mistake, was it all going to be worth the risk...?

However, after much research and some coaxing from others, I reached the decision that I knew was inside me...  If I didn't do it, I would always wish I had.

A number of years ago, Ali and I took a trip along the Great Ocean Road in Australia and as part of it, we went to Bells Beach.  Same deal - terrifying, not really that good a surfer, (not the same issues about cost, though...!).  However, I plucked up enough courage to head out, paddled out, sat there for a while ... then caught one wave back in - it was terrifying!  There's a huge reef there, the waves are incredibly powerful, I knew I was out of my depth, but it's something I'll always be able to hold on as an amazing experience to and I have an even greater respect for people who can surf beaches like Bells.

As you read this, I may well have had lived out the same reality - terrified, caught the lift up, one run down and I was done (hopefully not!), but I know this will be something I'll always hold on to.

My reflections are about what held me back and in the end, a lot of it came down to fear.  Fear of not knowing what I was doing, fear of getting lost, fear of the unknown...  It's been an interesting journey through that and I know, having made this decision, I will be in a better position to be more confident when other opportunities come up.  Otherwise, who knows what I'll miss out on...

What are your greatest fears?
What might you be missing out on because of those fears?
What is one thing you'd like to do this year that is outside your comfort zone?

Monday Musings - Why I love the NFL

[I thought about titling this "Why I love Football", but I knew there would be an uproar from my friends south of the Equator, so NFL it is... and let's not even get started on those who say only the roundball game is truly Football...]

Before we moved to Canada, I had some interest in the NFL.  Mostly, that had consisted of watching the Super Bowl, because we didn't really get much access other than that.  However, when OneHD launched, suddenly we had the opportunity to watch multiple games each week (fortunately my DVR allowed me to not have to get up at 4 am to watch them...)

Over the last couple of years, watching an NFL game on a Sunday has became a big part of our weekly rhythm - I have certainly enjoyed having Sunday Night Football (or a recording of an earlier game) to help me unwind at the end of a weekend.  I have finally become an unabashed Patriots fan (I take quite a bit of criticism for that, but what can you do...?), and so obviously I'm excited about next Sunday's big game... hoping for a reversal of the last time these two teams met on the big stage.

A couple weeks ago I had an opportunity to teach at our site and as part of my message, I mentioned where my love of the NFL has come from.  I believe it is one of the greatest examples of a true team sport - where each person who's part of the team needs to play their role for the team to be successful.  Sure, there are other sports which have that element (basketball still remains No 1 in our house...), but in many other sports, it's easier for one person to dominate and make a huge difference.  In the NFL, each person needs to play their role or there is no chance of team success.  Yes, a great QB makes a difference, yes, having incredible TEs can change things, but every player needs to be ready to contribute, no matter their role.  The results of last weekend prove the value of a kicker...

Far too often though, we find ourselves thinking about how important we are.  Whether that is in our career, our friendships, our churches... if we're honest, a lot of the time, our focus is on ourselves.  While it is certainly true that we need to continue to play whatever role we have been given to the best of our ability (particularly if we're in a leadership position), I wonder how much difference it would make if we focused on our role in the context of the team we're playing on - and how we encourage our teammates to be the best they can be as well.

I need to prepare as best I can... for the sake of the team.  I need to take care of myself so I'm in good condition... for the sake of the team.  I need to be focused on the right things... for the sake of the team.  I need to encourage the other people on our team to do their best... for the sake of the team.

I wonder how much difference it would make if we all approached life from that perspective - certainly I'm sure it would mean our motivation would go up at different times (instead of the consequences just being about me, I realize if I make a wrong choice, that affects us all...).  At the very least, we would shift the focus from ourselves to those around us and our communities and that in itself is always a good thing.

What teams are you part of?
How much are you performing at your peak for your team?
What can you do this week to increase the contribution you make to your team(s)?

tail-lights

Apparently, our right-hand tail-light wasn't working. Not sure how long that had been the case, and it wasn't until someone followed us home one night (that we knew... not a stalker...) that we found out about it.


It's all fixed now, but I noticed a lot more tail-lights that were out on other people's cars in the days that followed (and was a lot more paranoid about the police potentially following me!) I did start to think about how that relates to our own lives, though, in terms of our "tail-lights" - the areas of our lives that we can't see, for whatever reason.

I need to have people who are "following me" (and not in the sense of me following Jesus - perhaps "tailing me" would be better), and helping me know when my tail-lights are out. There are certainly blind spots in all of our lives - parts of our character, attitudes, thought processes, belief systems - which we don't really know about. This can be because they're either so familiar to us because they are habits that have been around so long, or we're simply not aware of them due to lack of exposure to alternative ways of thinking. Without someone else pointing them out, we have no clue that they aren't working. I know I need to have people in my life who are telling me it's time to replace a globe or two, for my safety and the safety of others...

a moment?

One of my first blogs was about Bobby, the movie about Robert F. Kennedy, and some questions it raised for me about whether people are aware, in the moment, of the impact they (and particularly their words) may have on history.

Today has been a monumental day, and I feel humbled and honoured to have been able to watch as Barack Obama was elected to be the 44th President of the United States of America.  In reflecting in the hours that have passed since his victory speech, I've been thinking back to those early musings, and have continued to wonder about people's awareness in these moments.  I think (hope) that we're all aware of the significance of Obama's speech, and the potential for it to enter into history as one of "those" moments - the "yes, we can" element of the speech, in particular.  

What has also struck me, though, is that it is a moment of hope.  Hope that was so clearly etched on the faces (and in the tears) of those who celebrated in Grant Park, Times Square, and in so many other places.  Hope that came through in Obama's speech.  Hope that maybe we stand on the edge of something great - of a restoration, of a re-ordering.  Hope that from this moment forward, things will be different.  There is no guarantee that we have witnessed one of those moments, today, but I'm sure as Obama strode out onto that platform, he was aware of the potential, aware of the hope.  

Should Obama deliver on that hope, then yes, this speech (and, I would imagine) a number of his other speeches so far, and yet to come, will indeed mark turning points.  We will, for decades to come, look back, as we do now on JFK, on Martin Luther King, Jr, on Robert F. Kennedy, and remember where we were when these events took place.

I have to confess, though that while I have hope, I have fear, also.  My greatest fear is of someone doing something stupid - as happened to each of those leaders I've just mentioned.  Yes, that will also become a moment, but it will be a moment when hope is crushed, destroyed.  I also fear that Obama will be unable to deliver on the promises and hope that he's created - that the expectation of change which has swept him to the Oval Office will be insatiable, unrealistic, and, in the end, undeliverable.

Let's pray I am wrong on both counts, and that hope wins the day.

lusting after church

In recent times, I've had some conversations with different people who are thinking about where they're at in their involvement with their church.  Sometimes, I find these conversations difficult, because, as a shaper in a church, I have a vested interest in what we're doing at CitySoul, and obviously believe strongly in what we're doing, and the way we're doing it.

My tendency is to hold back talking about what we're doing, particularly with people who are struggling in the communities they are currently part of, because I want them to work through the issues, and help their church become even more healthy, rather than just up and leaving.  In one of these recent conversations, I found myself saying something which I think is a helpful analogy, and which I've since used a couple more times.  

In some ways, being part of a faith community is like being in a relationship (hopefully it's a lot like being in a lot of relationships, but bear with me...)  When you are in a relationship with someone, it doesn't matter how attractive anyone else is, while you are in the relationship you're in, you should not be looking, and especially not lusting...  

Yes, there are times when it's tempting, but if you're in a relationship, you should be focussed on working through any issues, resolving problems, looking to strengthen that relationship, not find an easy out by chasing after someone else who might seem more attractive.  The reality is that all relationships require hard work, dedication, and, as far as I know, all people have issues of some sort, so while the change might be nice for a while, the gloss will wear off (and is it even possible you are the cause of some of those problems... so won't you take them into any other relationship you head into?)

Now, if the relationship is not working, is not going anywhere, is harmful, etc, then you need to leave that relationship, and it's at that point that you can begin to look at who else is around (but it's still important to work through the issues that caused the breakup).

I think it would be helpful if more people had those concepts in mind as they thought about their involvement with any given church.  While you are a part of that church, you are in a relationship, and it doesn't matter how attractive other churches are, you're "taken", so stop lusting!  All churches have people in them, and if they have people, that means there are going to be issues.  Some communities might hide them better than others, or for longer, but there will be issues somewhere (even with CitySoul!).

Now, again, if that relationship is not working (and there are times when it is absolutely appropriate to end a relationship and move on, for the benefit of both parties), then aim for a healthy close to the relationship, work through the issues that caused the "breakup", and once that chapter has closed, only then should you start looking at what else is around.

foundations

I've been doing a bit more work around our house this week - some odd jobs that needed to be finished off, including some paving and some painting.

What's hit me again is just how important foundations are. It plays a huge part in whether you have to do something once, or keep doing the same things. If I pave the path with a solid foundation under it, taking a bit more time, it'll last a lot longer. If I take shortcuts, it'll fall apart, and probably have to be repaved. If paint jobs are done well the first time (good surface prep, good coverage), this will mean the job will look a lot better and, again, last a lot longer.

Surely, it's the same with our spirituality, but how much do we focus on the foundations - on two fronts?

For people who are involved in walking with those taking their first steps in finding out what it means to follow Jesus authentically, how much effort do we put into the "surface prep", the foundations? What is appropriate and helpful surface prep, foundation laying? And if we don't lay a foundation, why are we surprised when things are a lot more complicated down the track?

For all of us, when we shortcut the basics, and the fundamentals (of course, discerning what the fundamentals are is a whole other discussion), again, why are we surprised when things get complicated, confused? What would it mean for us to "last a lot longer"?

in and out

I've had a fair bit of spare time over the last month, so I've been going to the gym a lot more often - aiming for every weekday. It's been great, but one thing I have noticed is that I am so much more hungry now! I've been trying to eat more than I used to, yet I keep getting hungry...

While I was at the gym this morning, I started thinking about how important it is for me to up my intake, if I want to keep up this exercise routine. If I don't, all the good I do in building muscle, etc will be lost, as my body searches for food within itself (given from food intake, burning fat, etc), and if it can't find any, it'll look for other sources (muscles, etc), and all the good will be undone.

As I was thinking this, it hit me that there is a lesson to be learned there by those who are more active in ministry than others.

As we increase the frequency of our "exercise" (engaging with people, preaching, running meetings, etc, etc), are we increasing how much we are eating, too (prayer, silence, meditation, Bible reading, etc)? If not, why should we not expect our bodies (or is that our souls?) to start "eating themselves"? Soul care is important not just so that we are more productive, more efficient, or whatever, but so that we have the spiritual energy to exercise properly, and to benefit not only others, but ourselves, as we do so.

As I've written previously, doing weights is all about breaking down muscle, so that when it rebuilds, it is stronger. Without food for that rebuild process, though, it doesn't happen. So, when God calls us to step outside our comfort zone, we need to have the food there, so that our spiritual muscles can rebuild. If we don't take time in prayer, reflection, stillness, not only do we miss out on much needed rest, but also the food that will allow us to be stronger next time.

what josh is teaching me about God #7

This morning, we took the kids to a new playground around the corner from us - so much fun. One thing I'm not sure about yet, though, is that to get to their bumpy slide, you either had to scale a rubber rope, or climb a series of plastic tyres arranged near each other, but certainly not in an easy manner to climb.

Josh wasn't real keen on the idea - he desperately wanted to get to that slide, but freaked out climbing up the tyres. I helped him (eventually) get up there, using the usual tactics ("I've got you", "look at me, don't look down", etc), but he really didn't enjoy the process, only the end result. Of course, once he'd been down the slide, he had another few goes at getting up there, with varying levels of success (the fact Rachel scaled up there (with Ali's help) fearlessly seemed to have little effect on him...)

What I was thinking about, though, was whether God wants us to be completely dependent on him all the time. Now, I know God wants us to depend on him, not on ourselves, others, our career, etc, but let me explain. My purpose in helping Josh up to the slide was to teach him how to do it on his own. He really didn't need me to hold him there, balancing him (I was happy to do it, though), and it was actually holding him back from being able to do something I knew he could do. So, I started wondering about whether God's growth in us is about us learning to stand on our own, to do the things he's enabled us to do - not that we do it on our own, we have his Spirit empowering us, certainly, and Jesus promised he would be with us always - but that God wants us to grow in our security enough to be able to climb and slide, knowing he's with us.

I'm not sure - in some ways it seems like a negative thought, that we wouldn't need God, and I'm not trying to justify us depending on our own strength. I just wonder whether we go too far the other way sometimes, and because of that, miss out on doing some things God knows we can do.

hoping to live... but not living

I read this quote from Blaise Pascal (French mathematician and theologian who lived in the 17th century) today - wow.

"We never keep our minds on the present moment. We remember the past, as if we wanted to slow down the passage of time. And we look forward to the future, as if we wanted time to accelerate. We wander about in times that do not belong to us, and do not think about the only time that does. We dream of times past and future, and flee from the present. The reason is that the present is usually painful. We push it out of sight because it distresses us - only on those few occasions which are truly enjoyable are we sorry to see time slip away. We try to reduce present pain with joyful hopes of the future, planning how we are going to arrange things in a period over which we have no control and which we cannot be sure of reaching... The past and the present are our means, and the future alone is our end. Thus we never actually live, but hope to live. We are never actually happy, but constantly planning how to become happy."

What a challenge to think about the present in a different way...

the divine hours

I re-read "Presence-Centered Youth Ministry" by Mike King (magnificent work that has shaped me a lot) a few weeks ago, and I'll probably put some key quotes up here soon (don't want to overwhelm you with book reviews!) One astounding comment which has changed my disciplines was this:

"I like midday [prayers] mainly because of the time of day it happens. Lunchtime is when I would set my course either toward or away from God. Midday is a great way for me to pause, reflect on God's character and invite him into everything I do throughout the rest of the day" - Nick, college student (p 135).

Those words smacked me between the eyes, and for the last while, I've been trying (at least when I'm at work) to implement them (I do hope to make it a routine every day, but one step at at a time...) A really useful site I've found is The Divine Hours. The great thing about the site is you can localise it to your timezone, and when you open it up, it comes up with morning, midday, evening (called vespers) and compline (to use just before you go to bed) prayers as appropriate. I've set a reminder in my calendar for noon and I stop whatever I'm doing, and take some time to work through the readings. As Nick says, it changes the direction and focus of the rest of the afternoon, and I try to take one main thought away to kind of digest throughout the arvo.

Give it a try and tell me what you think.

If anyone has any "portable" (ie PDA) versions you know of (I'm not always at my computer (!)), please let me know.

what Josh is teaching me about God #5

Last night, Josh was getting ready for bed, putting his pyjamas on, when I was struck by one of those "moments". We're trying to teach Josh how to do up buttons at the moment, but before we got to that, Josh asked me to help him put his top on (knowing that the button thing was next). I said to him "no, you can do it", to which he replied "help me, Dad".

My first instinct was to do it for him - put his shirt on, do up his buttons, but a remarkable thing came out of my mouth instead. I said "No, you do it - I am helping you, Josh". I knew that I wouldn't actually be helping him if I did it for him, but would be helping him far more if I helped him learn how to do it.

I immediately wondered how many times I call out to God, "help me, Dad". I also pondered how often God's first instinct is to take away our pain, remove our suffering, fix our problems, but in God's infinite wisdom, he chooses not to - knowing we learn far more by working through it ourselves, and that we can't become whole if someone always does up our buttons for us...

been a while...

I confess I've been pretty slack on the blogging front of late. I'm not quite sure why - I think that it's probably because blogging is a discipline, and like lots of disciplines, I'm not great at keeping them. No, it doesn't take a lot of time to log on, write a few words, and post, but actually having something useful to say (I think there's more than enough trash on the internet without me adding any) is a different matter.

It's not because I'm too busy, either. I made a vow a number of years ago to never use that as an excuse for anything. I feel there are far too many people who wear busyness as a badge of honour - trying to say "I'm the busiest person ever". To me, if you say you're too busy to do something, it's because of one of two reasons - either your time management needs work, or you can't make whatever is being discussed a priority. (I don't have an issue with people prioritising, either - it's healthy - but don't use busyness as an excuse to get out of something you don't want to do!)

The fact of the matter is, I just need to bite the bullet and take some time out more regularly to reflect more. I'm meeting with my good friend Andrew Turner this afternoon, and I'm sure this will be one of our topics of discussion...