Friday 40 for 40s - #3: The Weather

Item #9 that I'm learning to accept I can't change is:

The weather – it is what it is and complaining or begrudging it will not change it 

(See here for the full list)

We've lived in Canada for nearly 5 years now, after being born and raised in Australia.  One of the biggest changes moving here was to adjust to the weather (side note - I've often joked that Canada and Australia are basically the same... except for the accent and the weather.  Probably a post for another time).  It was amazing to arrive in the fall and see the colours of the leaves and crispness in the air, then transition into our first winter (snow!), experience our first spring as everything came alive, then understand why summer is such a big deal in the Northern Hemisphere.

This last winter was one of the worst ones in 20 years and I will admit that there were times when it got the best of me (I wasn't alone!)  This summer hasn't been great either - below seasonal and feeling more like fall at times.  Not exactly what a warm-blooded Aussie really needs!

We were told early on that the only way to really thrive throughout the winter was to embrace it rather than resent it and it's been absolutely true.  There have been (too) many times when I've spent so much time focusing on how the weather wasn't great that I've cocooned myself away and missed opportunities to get out and enjoy life - regardless of the weather.

While it's true that not focusing on the weather can be a challenge - especially because it seems to be the second topic of conversation after how busy we are - it mostly requires the same discipline of shutting off technology and being present that seem to make up most of the positive choices I want to make.  We have so much access to information on the weather now (24 hour weather channels, apps, websites...) that we can end up focusing more on what may or may not happen that we miss what's actually happening.  We can be so overwhelmed that it's going to be [pick the temperature/weather you don't like] for the next 5 days that we miss the sunny break, the cool breeze, the reality that it didn't rain constantly.

As I pass 40, I really want to get better at accepting the weather for what it is.  As I said in my original list, complaining or begrudging it hasn't changed the actual state of the weather so far in my experience and I doubt it's going to happen any time soon.  Sure, there are days when it'll be a downer that it's not perfect (whatever the definition of perfect weather is), but whatever it is can't be changed, so I might as well focus on the things that are really important and recognize how fortunate I am that most of the time, the weather doesn't stop life happening.  I know there are lots of people around the world for whom that's not a reality, which is yet another reason to be grateful.

Monday Musings - the importance of boredom

I came across this short article over the weekend and was fascinated by the thought that maybe boredom is a good thing.

I agree with the author's premise that back in the day we used to get bored pretty regularly, but that was the spur to all sorts of exciting adventures and a greater sense of appreciation for what was happening around us.

We've put some pretty clear boundaries in place for our kids - 1 hour of screen time per day (they can choose whether that's TV, Wii, computer, etc - Josh does get an exemption to be able to watch NBA highlights over breakfast though ; ) ) and I'm actually encouraged to say that often our kids do get bored and we tell them to go and find something to do.  And do you know what... they do!  There's not much of a more awesome sound than hearing the two of them playing together - whether that's with their lego, stuffies, old boxes, cars... so great.

Personally, I'd go further than the author of that article does and say it's not just the internet that's the problem.  I think it started with TV, then computers, then the internet and now smart phones and laptops.  I hear all the time that people are so busy, but I'm more and more convinced that we just feel busy, because we never switch off - our phones are always telling us about how many emails we've missed, facebook updates we haven't read, tweets we haven't been inspired by.  I actually wonder if the feeling of busyness is directly related to the amount of time we feel bored - if we're bored often enough, obviously we have spare time, so we don't feel busy.  However, if we never feel bored, we assume we must be busy.  All the time.  But if that is simply boredom being alleviated by distraction, rather than by doing things that are productive, should we be complaining...? 

Now, I'm not a techno-hater by any stretch, but it is healthy for us to reflect on how often we're bored - and when we are, what our default is.  I know for me, TV is the old faithful boredom-killer/distractionado (especially with Netflix... mmm, TV and internet together...), but I think next time I'm bored, I'm going to choose to go and sit on our porch and be bored for a while and see what happens.  What about you?

When was the last time I was bored?  What did I do to stop being bored?
When was the last time I thought "I wish I had more time to...?"  How much has my boredom-killer/distraction become a re-creation-killer?
What can I do to choose to get to a place of boredom - and creatively find a different way to fix it?

Monday Musings - God the gardener

The weather here in Toronto has certainly been very strange - super cold and snowing one day, even colder but clear another,and then it's supposed to be 20 on Thursday!  Wow.  Spring is certainly on the way and I absolutely love T.O. in the spring - the way everything comes back to life, colour abounds, the birds start their chorus... beautiful.

With that comes the responsibility of getting the garden back in order.  Our front yard in particular is a mess, because in the late fall, the city replaced all of the lead water pipes and pretty much destroyed our garden in the process (we'll see how survived and comes up in a few weeks).

I often refer to gardening as a really helpful analogy when we think about leadership in a church context.  There's an element where we have responsibility - preparing the ground, ensuring there's enough nutrients, making sure the garden is laid out in the correct way so everything gets the right amount of sun, pruning and weeding...  However there's only so much we can do - the rest requires us to sit back, be patient and allow the growth to happen naturally.

In our leadership roles, there's definitely work to be done - preparing the ground (setting good foundations), ensuring there's enough nutrients (teaching, discipling relationships, resourcing), making sure things are laid out correctly (the right people in the right roles, good structure), pruning and weeding (working through issues, helping people address sin in their lives, dealing with conflict).  In the end, though,  it's up to God to do the work in people's lives - the organic growth that only God can do.

One of my favourite verses is the Message translation of James 1:21:

In simple humility, let our gardener, God, landscape you with the Word, making a salvation-garden of your life.

What is the current state of my garden?
During this season, what work do I need to do to prepare for more growth?
In my sphere of influence, how much am I responsible for?  What do I need to leave with God?

seasons

A lot of people have asked why on earth we'd want to move to a place as cold as Toronto. Having lived here for a bit, I've realised that there are far worse places we could live - like Winnipeg...

Regardless, I have to say that I'm really excited about being in a place where there are significant differences in the seasons. We moved here during the fall, and it was amazing to see the leaves turn - I've never seen such an explosion of colour. It was also fascinating to see that only last for about 2 weeks, then the trees started to shed their coats and take on the ghostly shapes they currently have. And as for the first snowfall... oh my gosh.


I've commented previously about some of these dynamics (here and here), but count it a privilege to be able to experience it first hand at a level I've never seen before.

I wonder how often I miss the opportunity to have those sorts of experiences in my spiritual walk, though? I'll often spend time trying to avoid hard times, to make my life nice and comfortable, because it's easier that way. In doing so, do I miss the colour life has to offer? Do I miss the (very real) breath-taking that happens on a cold winter's day? And even if that's not because I've decided to insulate myself inside, perhaps I miss it because I'm so dissatisfied about my circumstances that I'm only focused on what I don't have, rather than embracing the season I'm in, knowing it will change at some point?

I've said to lots of people that one of the reasons I think people in North America embrace summer so much is because they have the contrast of winter - they know they need to get out and enjoy summer, because it is, literally, only for a season. I've also had lots of people say that the only way to cope with the long dark cold of winter is to embrace it - to get out in it and enjoy it.

Personally, I can't wait to see the transformation as we hit spring - to see the trees start to sprout, the snow start to melt, to hear the birds begin to sing again (something I hadn't realised had stopped until someone pointed it out the other day...). I also can't wait for summer - to enjoy the heat, being outside, having picnics, going to playgrounds. But in the meantime, I'm going to put on my jacket, toque, scarf and gloves and enjoy the crisp white of winter!

2010

So... looks like I successfully managed to go a whole year without posting any thoughts. Something to be proud of? Doubtful.

Things have changed significantly in the last year - I have a new job, we live in a new city, in a new country, but thankfully our family is still the same (although we're older and hopefully better connected)

I feel like my blog is an opportunity for some people I'm meeting to get to know me a bit better, and for people I used to spend more time with to keep up with some of what's going on. Inspired by Sam Javanrouh I am also going to try and keep my camera closer and keep more of a visual record of our life. Here's one example from a trip to High Park with Josh on Wednesday (many of the photos on my flickr page are better, but this is the most recent...):


In the spirit of a new year, it's also worth pondering what things will be like in 12 months time. 2009 brought a lot of changes for us, most of which I would not, had you asked me at this time last year, have thought were even on the radar. I wonder what life will be like at the start of 2011, and how much influence I will have exerted over that. Obviously some things will unfold around me (which I feel is important - I'd like to continue the journey of letting things go...), but I'd also like to think that I've purposefully moved from where I am now to where I am then, rather than it just happening by accident. We'll see.

choose... life

I've had one of those mornings this morning - you know, the ones where you feel like you're swimming in concrete, it takes ages to do anything?

Examples - I bought a new scooter (so happy to save so much money!), and went to fill it up at the petrol station.  I usually go to Mobil when I'm on the scooter, and when I used to be on my ZZR, because you can pay at the pump, and don't have to take your helmet off, etc.  So, I go to the station, pay at the pump isn't working, so I have to go in to pay.  When I go in, the attendant realises that the guy who just paid (driving a Calais) gave him the wrong pump number (accidentally?) - mine.  You'd think either the guy buying the petrol or the guy selling it would have realised that it costs more than $7 to fill a Calais... So, the attendant has to go out, get the guy to come back in, charge him the extra... you get the picture.

Eventually, I get back on the scooter and managed to snag every single red light on the way into town - no exaggeration, every one. 

Then I get into town and our wireless wasn't working properly... sigh (obviously it is now).

Now, clearly none of those things are a big deal, but I can get frustrated pretty easily at stuff like that.

2 weeks ago at our feast gathering for church, we talked about Moses' glorious words from Deuteronomy 30:15-20, in which he reminds the Israelites that as they enter into the Promised Land, that's not going to be the end of their need to make choices, and he challenges them to choose life (v 19).

We talked about how we need to make choices every day, and we are continually presented with opportunities to choose options that give life, contrasted with choosing options that take life.  

As I was sitting at one of the (many) red lights this morning, I decided to make a choice, to take the opportunity to soak up the sunshine, to marvel at the contrast of the green trees against the blue sky, to choose life.  I also reflected on how blessed we are to be able to make choices, and that the way we respond is really up to us.

absence >> yearning

We're currently in the middle of a record heatwave here in Adelaide (for any time of the year, let alone the first month of Autumn). Today is the 15th day in a row that we have had a temperature over 35C (95F). That's a lot of heat in anyone's language...

I'm unashamedly a summer person - I much prefer to get around in shorts and a t-shirt than anything else, and love the sunshine, daylight savings, warmth. Yet something funny has happened in the last few days (something which normally happens every summer at some point for me - I'm developing a yearning for winter! I'd really love to have a rainy day (we're in the middle of a drought here, as well), a cold night where we could switch the heater on, get into some trakkies, snuggle under a blanket and watch a good movie or read a good book. (I know it won't last - give me a few days of cold wind, driving rain and I'll be back on the summer bandwagon)

But it made me think - perhaps our yearnings are shaped a lot by absence, rather than presence (or perhaps a combination of the absence of one thing with the constant presence of the opposite?). During this heatwave, it's been the absence of cool, of rain, while living in the constant presence of heat (some nights it hasn't dipped below 30C) that has given me a yearning for winter. Conversely, in winter, when the sun is more absent, when warmth and light also go missing, and rain and darkness become constant companions, this produces a yearning for summer.

Does that give a new understanding to the purpose of lent, which finishes this weekend with Easter? The idea of fasting during lent is also about absence - about deliberately removing something from our presence. And when that yearning kicks in, we are to turn not to a yearning for whatever it is we are fasting from, but rather to a greater yearning for more of God in our lives.

May you know more of God's presence in your life, as we begin this Holy Week.

lent

As has become a part of my daily rhythm, I listened to the Jesuit "Pray as you go" podcast this morning. In it, they made reference to the meaning of Lent relating to Spring and new life, which makes sense, when you consider the seasons in the Northern Hemisphere.

As I'm in the Southern Hemisphere, it hit me how much difference that may make, in the lead up to Easter. For me, the most powerful aspects of Easter have always revolved around Good Friday - the sacrifice, the death, the pain, the suffering. The joy of Easter Sunday has always been part of Easter, absolutely, but for me, often the focus has been on Maundy Thursday and Good Friday.

As I reflected on the comments about new life, I wondered whether it makes a difference that Easter for us is generally in April - the middle of Autumn - a time of dying, decay, daylight savings ending, darkness, and perhaps that shapes the Easter experience. For our friends in the Northern Hemisphere, Easter occurs at a time when new life is born in the fields, when it is warming up, the days are getting longer, and perhaps this shapes the focus on Easter to a more joyful, fresh experience.

It's funny how we can be affected by the environment we live in, without even realizing it...

the desert

Last week, we went on a road trip to Canberra for Ali's brother's wedding. 14 hours each way, driving across the hay plain...
For those of you who don't know, the Hay Plain is a huge strip of road that connects Adelaide and Sydney and Canberra. It's a couple hundred kms of road, that in places is just plain straight for kms on end.

It's a very desolate place, and as we were driving it, I found myself able to pray and think really clearly, because there was nothing to distract me and a thought struck me that I'd never considered before. One of the advantages of desert experiences, and, I think, one of the reasons they are so powerful is because there are no distractions. As we move into the desert (whether that is literally or figuratively) we move away from the distractions that stop us thinking clearly, hearing clearly, praying clearly.

The other thing that hit me is that the purpose of spiritual disciplines (including the discipline of simplicity) is to take us into the desert - into places where we can move away from distractions, and hear, listen and pray.

weeds

Yesterday, I did my first weeding of our newly landscaped front yard (picture of my fantastic work down below...)

I can so see why Jesus decided to use weeds as an analogy - he must have done some gardening growing up, methinks. There's so much depth in it - the fact that if you deal with them early, they're easy to pull up, if you let them grow, they can get so interwoven with other plants it's hard to tell where one starts and the other finishes, sometimes you can pull weeds out, other times they just need to be sprayed, the plants grow a lot bigger and quicker when the nutrients aren't being stolen by the weeds... I could go on.

Apart from anything else, I'm going to keep trying to weed, just so that it reminds me to think of the weeding that I need to do in my own life.