what josh is teaching me about God #7

This morning, we took the kids to a new playground around the corner from us - so much fun. One thing I'm not sure about yet, though, is that to get to their bumpy slide, you either had to scale a rubber rope, or climb a series of plastic tyres arranged near each other, but certainly not in an easy manner to climb.

Josh wasn't real keen on the idea - he desperately wanted to get to that slide, but freaked out climbing up the tyres. I helped him (eventually) get up there, using the usual tactics ("I've got you", "look at me, don't look down", etc), but he really didn't enjoy the process, only the end result. Of course, once he'd been down the slide, he had another few goes at getting up there, with varying levels of success (the fact Rachel scaled up there (with Ali's help) fearlessly seemed to have little effect on him...)

What I was thinking about, though, was whether God wants us to be completely dependent on him all the time. Now, I know God wants us to depend on him, not on ourselves, others, our career, etc, but let me explain. My purpose in helping Josh up to the slide was to teach him how to do it on his own. He really didn't need me to hold him there, balancing him (I was happy to do it, though), and it was actually holding him back from being able to do something I knew he could do. So, I started wondering about whether God's growth in us is about us learning to stand on our own, to do the things he's enabled us to do - not that we do it on our own, we have his Spirit empowering us, certainly, and Jesus promised he would be with us always - but that God wants us to grow in our security enough to be able to climb and slide, knowing he's with us.

I'm not sure - in some ways it seems like a negative thought, that we wouldn't need God, and I'm not trying to justify us depending on our own strength. I just wonder whether we go too far the other way sometimes, and because of that, miss out on doing some things God knows we can do.

where everybody knows your name...

Over the last week, I've spent quite a bit of time with some of my closest friends, as they and I begin the process of me moving from RBC to whatever is next.

At a number of times over the last week, the conversation has turned to "so... what would you like to do?" (as in what would you like to do - play golf, watch the cricket, or do something else - not the longer, more reflective "what would you like to do with your life?" question.)

Most times, I've struggled to have an answer, and it hit me yesterday that I think the reason for that is because I actually don't care too much. Before my friends who read this get offended, though, let me clarify. I haven't been able to give an answer, because what I want to do is be with my friends. What we do while we're together, doesn't really bother me - I just enjoy being in their company, and whatever happens, well, pretty much, I'll be happy!

How blessed we are to have great friends.

so...

Well, it's been a while - nearly a month, in fact. The main reason that I haven't been doing any blogging during that time has been that I've just finished up as one of the Pastors at Rostrevor Baptist Church. It's been quite a journey, I have to say, and I'm appropriately proud of the work that God has accomplished during my time there. The last month has been slightly odd, finishing up, cleaning out my office, etc, but I feel at peace.

Moving on has been a journey of trust - trusting that God was speaking, and trusting that God will provide. I currently don't have anything 100% definite that I will be going to, but there is an option which we are exploring which looks amazing - pretty much my dream job. More on that as info comes to hand.

In the meantime, it's great to have a bit of space - space to do some writing, space to spend with family, space to spend with friends, space to pray and listen. Hopefully, I might be able to find some space to think and reflect in there, too.

what josh is teaching me about God #6

I arrived home from the U.S. yesterday, and it was so great to see Ali, Josh and Rachel again. I missed them a lot while I was away, and Josh didn't cope real well the last few days.

As is our custom at nights, last night I lay down with Josh to talk about his day, and (not surprisingly) he didn't want me to leave. Ali was at music rehearsal for Sunday morning, so I said to Josh I'd stay a bit longer if we could just lie still and not talk (he really needed to go to sleep). That moment was one of the richest of my life. he snuggled into me, and just lay there (something pretty rare for Josh!), letting me stroke his hair... bliss.

Then it hit me - maybe that's how God sees us when we've been away for a time. He doesn't want us to necessarily talk and tell him everything, grovel or enter with fear, but just says "let's lie here for a while - it's great to have you home".

what's really important?

I've had the pleasure of spending the last few days in Kansas City and Chicago with my very good friend, Chris Folmsbee. Today, a snowstorm came through Chicago, something I've not seen before. It was exciting and fun (I even got to shovel snow for the first time...)

What has amazed me, though, is how things can just shut down. We saw news reports about 400 flights being canceled at O'Hare, the trains stopping, the roads coming to a near standstill - and it wasn't even a bad storm! Apparently it gets a lot worse at times, and things can shut down pretty much altogether.

It's so easy for us to expect things to happen - from our favourite food being available at the supermarket to our sporting team to play a certain way, from planes being available when they're supposed to be, to people driving the way we expect them to. And when they don't... isn't that a great opportunity to realise that maybe something we thought was vital actually wasn't, and in that disconnect, we allow our minds to repent, and see things from a totally different point of view.

the desert

Last week, we went on a road trip to Canberra for Ali's brother's wedding. 14 hours each way, driving across the hay plain...
For those of you who don't know, the Hay Plain is a huge strip of road that connects Adelaide and Sydney and Canberra. It's a couple hundred kms of road, that in places is just plain straight for kms on end.

It's a very desolate place, and as we were driving it, I found myself able to pray and think really clearly, because there was nothing to distract me and a thought struck me that I'd never considered before. One of the advantages of desert experiences, and, I think, one of the reasons they are so powerful is because there are no distractions. As we move into the desert (whether that is literally or figuratively) we move away from the distractions that stop us thinking clearly, hearing clearly, praying clearly.

The other thing that hit me is that the purpose of spiritual disciplines (including the discipline of simplicity) is to take us into the desert - into places where we can move away from distractions, and hear, listen and pray.

hoping to live... but not living

I read this quote from Blaise Pascal (French mathematician and theologian who lived in the 17th century) today - wow.

"We never keep our minds on the present moment. We remember the past, as if we wanted to slow down the passage of time. And we look forward to the future, as if we wanted time to accelerate. We wander about in times that do not belong to us, and do not think about the only time that does. We dream of times past and future, and flee from the present. The reason is that the present is usually painful. We push it out of sight because it distresses us - only on those few occasions which are truly enjoyable are we sorry to see time slip away. We try to reduce present pain with joyful hopes of the future, planning how we are going to arrange things in a period over which we have no control and which we cannot be sure of reaching... The past and the present are our means, and the future alone is our end. Thus we never actually live, but hope to live. We are never actually happy, but constantly planning how to become happy."

What a challenge to think about the present in a different way...

finally...

I had one of those "moments" the other day. I love watching House, and regularly, at the end of a show, they have incredible songs - real poignant, and generally real chilled. I've been thinking for the last couple years "why don't they bring out a CD of those songs", and... they have!


I bought it yesterday - love it.

trust

I've been doing more thinking about this whole trust issue (some of you know the reasons for that!), and yesterday, I journalled the following:

What have I learned about trust?

— It’s about believing in the unknown – you don’t need to trust if you know the answer.

— It’s about believing the best – trust is not expecting that the other party is going to do you wrong, but believing they want the best for you

— It’s about not being in control – you don’t need to trust if you’re the one driving… if you’re in the passenger seat, you have to trust the driver knows where they’re going

— It’s about moving into the undefined – not about a clear plan (so why keep trying to make them?!)

— It’s loaded with patience – you have to be patient and wait for the outcome

— It’s about peace – if you trust, you don’t stress, you just “are”, and you can exist in that moment, not worrying about the next

Still trying to learn how to trust...

the kingdom

As you can see from my "reading" list, I'm reading "The Secret Message of Jesus" by Brian McLaren at the moment. In it, McLaren writes about how the imagery that Jesus uses of the Kingdom of God may not be as helpful for us, because Kingdoms are largely irrelevant to us, so he lists a number of alternatives that he's been pondering.

The one I love the most is the idea of the Dream of God - stronger language than the "wish" of God - so when Jesus says "the Kingdom is at hand", we could interpret that as "the dream of God is at hand". Because I've done a reasonable amount of thinking on the Kingdom, I hadn't connected the truth that for Joe Public, this is probably a foreign concept - I think I've actually been interpreting "Kingdom" along the lines of "dream", but haven't had the words to explain it.

I also love the idea of the network of God, and the dance of God - again, very powerful images which help me as I consider what it means to live according to "Kingdom values".