Monday Musings - life in a day

Over the weekend, I watched "Life in a Day" - a movie where thousands of people captured life for them on July 24th, 2010 and uploaded their videos to YouTube where the director then cut and spliced the footage together into a 90 minute film that is pretty amazing (you can watch it on Netflix or here).

For me, there were two standout reflections - how much we miss each day and what it means to preserve our memories.

The detail on some of the videos that were uploaded is nothing short of stunning, capturing so clearly a moment, a thought, an emotion.  It is a beautiful thing for someone to be able to know the best way to compose a shot or even simply to have an awareness of what was happening around them so as to capture it adequately.  It was yet another reminder for me that I often walk around with my eyes pretty much closed - there's so much beauty, pain, joy, life and colour in each and every day and I miss a lot of it because I'm overly consumed with what I'm doing.  I love being woken up and challenged to see the world with fresh eyes - it is truly a glorious world we live in.

I was also challenged about how important it is to capture a moment in time for the future.  Our kids are 9 and 7 and I look at other kids in our community who are 2 and under and I know that Josh and Rachel were that age once, but in some ways it is hard to remember.  Part of me is jealous for the people who did capture a moment in time - especially with their kids - because that's something they'll always have to transport them back to those precious moments.

Since watching it, I have been tossing around the idea of what it would look like for us as a family to capture "Life in a Day" on a regular basis - maybe twice each year on the same date - and to have a record of what we were thinking, what was important to us, who we were spending time with, what we were afraid of, what our hopes and dreams were.  As well as the memories, I'm sure it would also give some pretty interesting perspectives on how at different times we under- or over-estimate the significance of what we're processing.  Good idea, we'll see if it happens...

How can I look at the world with a fresh set of eyes tomorrow?
What is happening in my life right now that is far more or less significant than I realize?
How am I capturing moments in time - both for preservation and for reflection and perspective?

Monday Musings - the cost of being present

I read this article during the week and was reminded again just how much technology has worked its way to subtly become a huge, invasive part our lives - it's almost embarrassing that we need to have an incentive to focus on being present with people...

The short version of the article is that a restaurant owner in LA is offering a 5% discount if customers will check their phones at the door.  The owner's rationale?

"It's about two people sitting together and just connecting, without the distraction of a phone, and we're trying to create an ambiance where you come in and really enjoy the experience and the food and the company"

Many people who know me well are aware that I'm a big advocate for this sort of thinking and I'm proud to say that our church did a series on this subject (Rage Against the Machine) back in June 2011.  There is so much research available that it's only a matter of time before we realize that so much of the reason we feel so "busy" and always switched on is directly related to these devices in our pockets (or even more accurately, on our tables...) that are causing psychological and physiological reactions for us.

I am trying to become more and more conscious to make sure that when I'm meeting up with someone or I'm in a group situation, I keep my phone in my pocket and out of sight, unless I need it for a specific purpose.  There's no question that when I can see it (even subconsciously), I am not 100% focused on the discussion going on and the people I'm with.  There are constant subtle messages telling me to check my email, look something up, think about other things.

I've also mentioned before that I'm also really disciplined about turning the email on my phone off on Thursday night and putting my phone on our hall table on my day off (Fridays), so that it's not anywhere near me, giving me those "look at me...!" feelings throughout the day.  I can't tell you how much difference it makes in my ability to relax and focus on the people I'm with.

As I read the article, I wondered about whether there are some creative ways for us to implement this kind of thinking in a church context.  Because our phones have become such multi-use tools, we have a lot of people that use them during the teaching in our Sunday services as their Bible or to access the teaching notes.  My original thought was to encourage a "check your phone at the door" policy in our home churches, but because people have taken notes during the service that will contribute to the conversations, that's not going to work.  Regardless, I think it's going to become more and more important for us to continue to explore the ways in which we are learning to be fully present when we're together in community - whether that's two people out for dinner or in a large group context.

Are there any times in the last week where I have been in the same space as someone else, but have not been fully present with them?
How often do I put my phone away so that it is truly out of sight and out of mind?
How can I encourage the people in my closest community to have a greater sense of being present with each other, particularly in terms of the distractions of technology?

Are you busy?

I've written before (including here and here) about busyness and how much it disturbs me that people use the word "busy" so often, often an excuse to get out of something they don't want to or because they want to fit in.

With that in mind, I was thrilled that someone came across this post and sent it to me because they knew I would love it (and I did...)

I agree with pretty much everything that the author writes in that article and would want to reinforce three things as important advice...

1. Don't wear busyness as a badge of honour.  If you're in a situation (work, friendship circle, church...) where you feel that you need to justify your busyness to fit in, I would suggest you either see it as an opportunity to show a new way of living that is much healthier (and, I would argue in line with God's values) or that you find a new situation.  Make the change before you wake up one day and realise you haven't had a chance to do most of what you really want to do because you were simply trying to please others.

2. Recognise that you make your own choices.  All of us have exactly the same amount of time each week and we all get to choose, in the main, how we spend that time (if you're in a job where you feel like you work too much, you can choose to find another job...)  If you're too "busy" to do the things you want to do, you need to be honest with yourself and your schedule, start saying no and cut back on the things you don't really want to do, to create time for the things you do.  I don't know of anyone who just sits around on their couch staring at the wall all day - again all of us feel busy, because we're occupying our time with something.  The question is whether you're happy with the priorities you are choosing and the way you're occupying your time...

3. Realise that much of the reason you feel busy is because of technology.  I'm convinced that more and more we feel like there's always something to do, because of 3 main areas that are all technologically related:

a) Email - most of us have these devices in our pockets that have red circles with numbers (or some variation) telling us how many people supposedly need our attention right now, some that even vibrate or make noises to get our attention.  However, once upon a time, back in the dark ages, people used to only reply to email when they were actually at work - I know - shocking, right?  Unless your job requires you to be on 24/7 (and I know there are some that do), you are allowed to turn your email off or even leave your phone in another room.  Try it sometime and see how many withdrawal symptoms you feel, fight through them and discover how much more free and relaxed you feel.  I turn the email off on my phone and computer on Thursday nights before my day off Friday and leave my phone on our hall table for most of Fridays.  It's incredibly liberating.

b)  Social Networking - be honest with yourself... how many times a day do you check facebook or twitter?  How many times do you have notifications popping up on your phone/computer that distract you from what you're supposed to be focusing on, therefore making you feel more busy?  It is ok to only check facebook, twitter, etc 1-2 times a day (at most...) - again, try it see if it makes you feel any different - there's definitely nothing urgent on there! 

c) TV - how many hours of TV have you watched this week?  And before you answer, I've heard lots of people say recently "I don't want TV any more" or "I don't even own a TV", yet they're incredibly up to date on what's happening on shows, sporting events, etc.  Please note... if you're watching TV on a computer, it's still watching TV...!  Even if you have a DVR so you can be more flexible, are you feeling pressure to watch shows so you can free up space on your hard drive, reinforcing the sense of busyness?    

Now don't get me wrong, there are times where my schedule is full and I love being productive (the reason my blog often doesn't get updated is because it's lower on my priority list than other things).  But for over 10 years now, I have not replied with "I'm busy" to anyone who asks how I'm doing or how my week has been.  I will say that I've had a full week or that there's lots happening in those seasons where there are a few more things clamouring for my attention, but even in those times I know I chose how to spend that week and normally there are at least 1 or 2 choices I could have made to free up time if I'd really wanted to.  I also have no trouble saying no to things, because I know where my priorities need to be and if something doesn't fit with those priorities, then I'm able to say "I'm sorry, but I won't be able to commit to that."

I'm growing more and more convinced that not only is it possible to get away from the scourge of busyness, but it's actually vital that we do for our own health and to show people that this is not the way we were designed to live and there is a better way.

How many times have I said "I'm busy" in the last week?  Why have I replied that way?
How happy am I with how I spend my time?  If I'm not, where can I make some different choices so I can do the things I want to do?
Are there ways in which technology is making me feel busier than I actually am?  If so, how can I change my use of it so that it's my servant, not my master?



PS If you want to chip in, we also have a conversation about this happening here on our Downtown facebook page

Monday Musings - finales and happy endings

Ali and I have been big fans of the TV show "House" pretty much since it started.  Over the last 8 years or so, there aren't many episodes we've missed and I think it was one of the most well-written dramas going around.

Sadly, it came to a conclusion last Monday, so it was with some trepidation that we sat down to watch the last episode... (I should confess here that I don't think there were many final episodes of any of the previous seasons where a few tears weren't shed).

**Spoiler alert** If you don't want to know what happens during the episode, you should probably stop reading now...

They had done a great job building up to the finale - setting up a number of plot possibilities and the episode did look like it was heading to a close with House dying in an explosion.  Sure, very sad way to finish, but in some ways, it kind of seemed appropriate.

However, it was all a ruse and in the end House lives and he and Wilson end up riding off on motorcycles as they live out the final months of Wilson's life (which we don't see).

While I think it was a good (not great) ending, I was left with a lingering question...

Why do we always look for a happy ending?


Think about it - there have been lots of shows that have wrapped up, but in the main, they end up being nicely resolved with some sort of happy ending (although someone did tell me that the Desperate Housewives finale finished with less of a happy ending - haven't ever watched that though, so I can't comment...)

I think that if ever a show was ripe for a sad, non-resolved ending, it was House (if you've watched it over the years, you know what I mean).  Yet here again, we return to "it all worked out in the end."

As I've thought more about it, I've reflected again on God's big story and been reminded about the way in which we believe that will end... us living at peace with God, each other and creation.  Forever.

In his book "Simply Christian", NT Wright talks about echoes - times and spaces where we hear an echo of something bigger and more profound - in beauty, in justice, in relationships, in our spiritual thirst.

I wonder whether happy endings are another echo - something that points us to a greater reality, where we inherently know "this is how it should all turn out" and causes us to live in greater hope, for now and the future.

How do I feel about happy endings?  Why is that?
Why are we wired to want everything to work out in the end?
How much confidence do I have in God's authoring of the great story and the way in which it will end?

Monday Musings - deletions, do-overs and developing culture

Fascinating article on what happened at Pixar when they accidentally deleted most of the files for Toy Story 2... during production.

It's a pretty long read, so for those who can't be bothered, the core of it is that someone accidentally deleted the main directory with all of the files for Toy Story 2... while they were in the middle of making the film.

The first part of the story is a very interesting reflection about the ways in which we can react to something like that.  For many, as the article says, the first reaction would be to try and track down the person who made the mistake and reprimand them severely.  Pixar's reaction?  No point in doing that - there's too much to do, we just need to get it fixed.

Great quote about meeting culture in the midst of that...

The thing about a disaster like this one is that the technical directors and staff at Pixar had to trust one another to fix the issue, even though there were several mistakes made and one of them was responsible.  'If you can't sit down and calmly engage that meeting, you can't be in that meeting with them'.

What an awesome culture to be part of - no pointing fingers, just all hands on deck, let's solve the problem.  Together.  Even though everyone knew that one of the people in the room was the source of the huge problem, if you can't let that go and be part of finding the solutions, you're best not to be in the meeting.

Even more interesting as you get further through the article is that less than a year before the release date, they decided the movie wasn't as good as it could be, so they started most of it again.  From scratch.  In any circumstance, that's a big call, but to do it after the issue with the deleted files?  Wow.  Again, what a great culture to be part of - one where the focus is on doing the best we can do - even if it means that we have to scrap some things that people have invested significant time into, even if it means having hard conversations about "Are you kidding?  After all the work we did restoring the deleted version?"

I love the comment the writer makes towards the end of the article:

The thing that I take away about these experiences is that the spontaneity of the communal support speaks to the culture of Pixar the rest of the time.  That kind of thing doesn't happen all of a sudden.  You can't simply have a disaster and suddenly develop this sense of community and camaraderie and help and support. 

It has to seep out.  It has to be in the soil.  You don't just go ahead and plant it and watch it grow in one day.  It has to be cultivated.   

So true.

What culture am I cultivating in my spheres of influence?
When a problem comes up, am I someone who wants to find the source or the solution?
How much am I willing to sacrifice, in order to get to my very best?

Monday Musings - how to be less stupid

I read this article last week, mostly because of the awesomeness of the title (warning, if you do read it, there is some mild language) and I loved one of the first lines that Altucher wrote:

Subtraction, and not Addition, is what makes the window to the brain more clear.

Fantastic.

Most of us would argue that if we could only learn more, add more knowledge to our memory banks, develop broader expertise, that would make us smarter.

However, I totally agree that it's likely a bit of spring cleaning is in order and we need to de-clutter.  If only we could all let go of the list of things Altucher suggests we subtract (love that he only came up with 9... I'm sure we could all add many more to it), who knows how much smarter we would become.  As we let go of other people's expectations, guilt, regret, the need to control - imagine the creativity, excitement, sense of freedom we would experience.  There is definitely a lot of clutter in my mind that could do with some clearing out to create extra room for healthy thinking...

I also know that for me, I'm far more productive and effective when I have less that I need to focus on.  When I try to be all things to all people, when I try to stay on top of everything, I'm actually far less capable.  As the genius folks at Steam Whistle say... we all need to try to do one thing, really, really well.  (Clearly they do marketing well, because I didn't even need to look that up...) 

Our church family is focused has the concept of simplicity at the centre of who we are - that "we value uncluttered lives (yep, that's the official wording!), which free us to love boldly, give generously and serve joyfully".  Whenever I unpack that with people, I'm quick to remind them that the value of simplicity is about far more than just living on less money so we can give more away (although that's part of it).  It's also about subtraction - having fewer relationships, fewer responsibilities, fewer things that are demanding our attention and resources, so that we can be more generous with what is left - the key people in our lives, the priorities we want to set.

Obviously there are many things that pull for our attention, but I wonder how much more healthy, effective and excited we would be if we were able to take some time to remove some of the clutter and junk, get rid of some of the areas of our lives that are actually not that important and put our priorities in their right places.  I know I could benefit from being a little less stupid...

What do I need to de-clutter in my mind - others' expectations? guilt? regret? resentment?
What do I need to let go of, so that I can have a greater sense of focus on what's important?
What areas of my life can I simplify and cut back, so that I can be more generous?

Monday Musings - the importance of boredom

I came across this short article over the weekend and was fascinated by the thought that maybe boredom is a good thing.

I agree with the author's premise that back in the day we used to get bored pretty regularly, but that was the spur to all sorts of exciting adventures and a greater sense of appreciation for what was happening around us.

We've put some pretty clear boundaries in place for our kids - 1 hour of screen time per day (they can choose whether that's TV, Wii, computer, etc - Josh does get an exemption to be able to watch NBA highlights over breakfast though ; ) ) and I'm actually encouraged to say that often our kids do get bored and we tell them to go and find something to do.  And do you know what... they do!  There's not much of a more awesome sound than hearing the two of them playing together - whether that's with their lego, stuffies, old boxes, cars... so great.

Personally, I'd go further than the author of that article does and say it's not just the internet that's the problem.  I think it started with TV, then computers, then the internet and now smart phones and laptops.  I hear all the time that people are so busy, but I'm more and more convinced that we just feel busy, because we never switch off - our phones are always telling us about how many emails we've missed, facebook updates we haven't read, tweets we haven't been inspired by.  I actually wonder if the feeling of busyness is directly related to the amount of time we feel bored - if we're bored often enough, obviously we have spare time, so we don't feel busy.  However, if we never feel bored, we assume we must be busy.  All the time.  But if that is simply boredom being alleviated by distraction, rather than by doing things that are productive, should we be complaining...? 

Now, I'm not a techno-hater by any stretch, but it is healthy for us to reflect on how often we're bored - and when we are, what our default is.  I know for me, TV is the old faithful boredom-killer/distractionado (especially with Netflix... mmm, TV and internet together...), but I think next time I'm bored, I'm going to choose to go and sit on our porch and be bored for a while and see what happens.  What about you?

When was the last time I was bored?  What did I do to stop being bored?
When was the last time I thought "I wish I had more time to...?"  How much has my boredom-killer/distraction become a re-creation-killer?
What can I do to choose to get to a place of boredom - and creatively find a different way to fix it?

Monday Musings - how quickly things can change

Palm Sunday.
  The Last Supper.
    Betrayal and Desertion.
      Good Friday.
        Death.

Easter Sunday.
  Life.
    Victory.

I've been reflecting these past few days on the journey of Holy Week - the time of year when we follow the footsteps of Jesus to the cross and then his resurrection.

It's really an incredible story - Jesus comes into Jerusalem, welcomed as a celebrity, as King, as Messiah.  People are cheering for him, letting a donkey walk on their coats, waving trees.  I picture the atmosphere of a ticker tape parade after a sporting team wins a championship...

As the week rolls on, Jesus takes his closest friends aside and gives them a set of amazing intimate experiences - washing their feet, breaking bread with them, sharing his heart, his vision, his sadness, his love.

The crowds disperse.  One of Jesus' close friends betrays him.  One of his closest friends denies even knowing him.  The crowd turns on him.  He's left alone.  Mocked.  Tortured.  Then killed.




But we know that's not the end of the story.  From death, comes life.  From hopelessness comes hope for eternity.  From the giving up of all power comes ultimate victory.

As you prepare for this weekend, I pray you are able to enter into this incredible story and experience it in new ways, being reminded again that there is nothing God is unable to restore, to make right, to make whole.  You.  Me.  Our circumstances.  Our world.

He is Risen.  He is Risen indeed.

Where am I making time to reflect on the Easter story this week?
Which part of the story do I most need to allow God to speak to me through this year?
Where is God already at work, bringing something back to life in my world this week - even if it seems impossible or unlikely?

Monday Musings (on Tuesday) - reflections from a great weekend

This past weekend, we held our Downtown Toronto retreat - what an awesome time away.

The focus of the weekend was "Greater Things" as we processed John 14:12:

"Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father."

Together we unpacked various elements of what it means to be part of God's great restoration project and the ways in which we can enter in and receive the culture and values of God's original design and vision for us.  Oh, and we had a groovy 70s dance party...

As I come back from the retreat, I'm so inspired and amazed at this incredible community that we're part of.  One of the activities we did during the retreat was to get people into groups who all focus on the same area - hospitality, education, business, science, arts - to talk about what those principles look like in a practical way.

It was incredible to hear the ideas that the groups came up with and to be reminded again about the ways in which God is at work in every sphere of life that we are involved in and seeking to bring restoration, wholeness and purpose to our every day lives.

My prayer for each of us is simply this... "God, help us be more aware of your presence in our lives, so that we can be more involved in your amazing restoration project."

How aware am I of God's presence in and around me right now?
Where is God at work in my life today?
How is God inviting me to partner with him in that?

Monday Musings - innovation vs preservation

Last week, I read this article that's been floating around for the last little while - I'm sure many of you have read it, too.  It's a fascinating account of a Google ex-employee - I'd assumed it was going to be someone firing up about something controversial, but in actual fact, it's a pretty balanced account of one person's perception of the shifting culture at Google.

While it's always important to be careful to remember that we all have our own perspectives which sway how we look at the world, from a philosophical angle, the article triggered a couple interesting thoughts for me...

Google has always been one of the companies people would say was in their top 5 desired workplaces.  The facilities (cool place to work), the 20% rule (being given 1 day per week to work on a side project of your choosing), huge innovative environment (new ideas and new products all the time)... who wouldn't want to work there?

All of us have a desire to be in a place where we're appreciated, where we have the opportunity to dream, to come up with new ways of doing and where we don't just have to accept the Status Quo.  Certainly in the world I spend most of my time, I'm very aware of that - the young (and even some of our older people) who are part of our churches are looking for a place that has a clear core (core values, core principles), but plenty of room to organically explore what that looks like.  When it does... look out.

What does seem to have shifted at Google is the sense of "we now have to not only protect what we have, but we have to be like them so we can keep being at the centre".  To me, that's the most dangerous attitude for anyone to have.  As soon as we start focusing more on preservation than innovation, we're done.  I remember Charlie Walsh, who worked with cyclists at the Australian Institute of Sport, saying that if we stand still and try to hold on to where we are (even if that's number 1), if we just keep doing what we've been doing, others around us are innovating and thinking of new ways to catch us and will overtake us.

Equally dangerous is to look at what someone else is doing and say "they're starting to take some of the number 1 from us - let's do what they're doing, only better (because we're number 1) and we can keep our number 1 place."  Obviously, in this context I'm not talking about organizations that are already focused on similar areas.

In the church, sadly, I've seen this play out time and again - we focus too much either on trying to hold on to what we have (preservation) or we focus on what others are doing and say "if we were just like that, then we'd be back in the centre" (could play out in terms of looking at copying things that are successful in culture or in copying what other churches are doing).

For me, I desperately want to be part of a community that knows who they are and what they're on about - knowing what's at the heart and core of who we are.  With that locked in, I then want to create opportunities for us to innovate, experiment and try new things, knowing all the time that we're holding on to what makes us "us".  Sure, I want to learn from other people, other churches, other organizations and the culture around me, but in the end, I want to be able to allow the DNA that we have to produce organic fruit that is reflective of exactly where we are.  What about you?

What areas of my life do I feel like I have to protect?  Why?
When am I guilty of looking at what others are doing and thinking "I need to do that so that I can be as successful as them?"
How am I helping create organic, innovative community?