listening

I keep being challenged about being a better listener. It's coming from everywhere, too - books, movies, although no-one's told me I'm a bad listener yet (maybe I'm not listening...) Even last night, I sat down to watch The Simpsons, and there's a repeat of episode 1305 "Jaws Wired Shut", where Homer has his jaw broken and can't talk, so he has to learn how to listen, and is amazed at the results. Sometimes I wonder if I should have my jaw wired shut so I can learn to listen to what others say, but that wouldn't help me listen to God better, I'm sure.

I think it's just like everything else in my crazy, Western, full-of-unimportance life - I'm in too much of a rush to listen properly. I can't sit and listen to someone take a long time to say what they need to say - I've got other things to do! My friend Michael Novelli posted a quote from Henri Nouwen about listening on his blog, and I love the part that says:

"Listening is much more than allowing another to talk while waiting for a chance to respond. Listening is paying full attention to others and welcoming them into our very beings."

That's really at the core of me being a bad listener - I think my listening is about working out what I need to say to the person, not about trying to welcome another in - or even more aiming to grow in my empathy, to not only hear what the person is saying, but trying to listen to what's inside them causing them to say it.

So hard...