[no alarms and] no surprises

Each week, I have a 45-60 minute (each way) drive to some bi-weekly meetings. I actually really enjoy it - some good alone time, and most of all, a great opportunity to listen to some tunes.

Last week, I forgot to take my iPod, though, and was at the whim of the many radio stations here in Toronto. I've got a few favourites - won't name them for fear of judgement... - and flicked between them.

One of which was playing mainly the same songs they've been playing for the last couple weeks, so didn't get much opportunity. However, there were times when I was pleasantly surprised as I surfed the [radio-]waves, and it got me thinking. When I have my iPod on, generally, I'm using playlists that I've created, or, at times, I'll throw on an album or an artist that takes my fancy. When I listen to the radio, I'm at the mercy of what they choose, and at times, that can be rubbish. At other times, though, the surprise of hearing a song I haven't heard for ages, or a new song I didn't realise had been released means the payoff is more than worth it.

How often do we do the same with our choices in life - safely sticking to our existing playlists, living with albums and artists we know are safe and will give us some joy. But in doing so, we miss out on the joy of opportunities that catch us completely by surprise - bumping into someone or somewhere we haven't been for ages, finding ourselves somewhere that brings back strong memories, discoveries of new pleasures or places.

When was the last time you switched off your iPod and changed channels?

stories

Been reading some Hemmingway over the last week or so, and also read The Catcher in the Rye by Salinger.

To be honest, I'm not sure what the fuss is about Catcher, but I have been blown away by Hemmingway. I borrowed a book of his short stories, and am astounded that in 2-3 short pages, he can tell a story so rich and engaging. At the same time, I'm also reading The Old Man and The Sea, and am loving the simplicity of the way in which he tells that story.

Catcher, on the other hand, I just found to go nowhere - partly because I felt it had too much detail at times, plus I didn't really enjoy the style of writing - personal preference. Possible also that reading it for the first time when teenage angst seems some time ago causes some loss of power...

Got me thinking, though - as I've mentioned before, one of the reasons comics are so powerful is because we have to engage our minds to read them. Reading Hemmingway's short stories is a similar experience - his ability to engage the mind in a few short pages is nothing short of brilliant.

That then led me to ponder about how we read and unpack The Story - God's story. Too often, I think we explain everything away, every last detail, and then wonder why people don't engage with it. We need to get better at allowing the space in the story to breathe, allowing the Spirit to engage our minds and challenge, inspire, encourage us. Or do we not trust that the stories are powerful enough...?

colour

I'm amazed sometimes at the power of colour.

I was talking last night with some guys about NFL teams, and who we support. For me, because I wasn't raised on it, and because I'm not from any of the cities that have NFL teams, I don't really have any teams that I support fully. However, the teams that I do have a soft spot for are teams that have been successful, but more than that, for teams that have a lot of dark blue on their uniform (my favourite colour) - the Patriots, the Cowboys, even the Bills (yikes...)

In terms of baseball - same deal... Yankees, Twins...


Basketball - I'm more of a purist, so it is far more about the players (Go Cavs!)

I was thinking about that a bit more this morning, and walked out into a fairly grey and gloomy day, and realised how much difference that made, too. The weekend was spectacular - sunshine, blue skies... In fact, it was actually colder on the weekend than today, yet today felt colder and more dreary, because of the grey skies.

I'm sure there's a reason for it all, but it does amaze me that we can be so affected by the colour we see (consciously or not).

seasons

A lot of people have asked why on earth we'd want to move to a place as cold as Toronto. Having lived here for a bit, I've realised that there are far worse places we could live - like Winnipeg...

Regardless, I have to say that I'm really excited about being in a place where there are significant differences in the seasons. We moved here during the fall, and it was amazing to see the leaves turn - I've never seen such an explosion of colour. It was also fascinating to see that only last for about 2 weeks, then the trees started to shed their coats and take on the ghostly shapes they currently have. And as for the first snowfall... oh my gosh.


I've commented previously about some of these dynamics (here and here), but count it a privilege to be able to experience it first hand at a level I've never seen before.

I wonder how often I miss the opportunity to have those sorts of experiences in my spiritual walk, though? I'll often spend time trying to avoid hard times, to make my life nice and comfortable, because it's easier that way. In doing so, do I miss the colour life has to offer? Do I miss the (very real) breath-taking that happens on a cold winter's day? And even if that's not because I've decided to insulate myself inside, perhaps I miss it because I'm so dissatisfied about my circumstances that I'm only focused on what I don't have, rather than embracing the season I'm in, knowing it will change at some point?

I've said to lots of people that one of the reasons I think people in North America embrace summer so much is because they have the contrast of winter - they know they need to get out and enjoy summer, because it is, literally, only for a season. I've also had lots of people say that the only way to cope with the long dark cold of winter is to embrace it - to get out in it and enjoy it.

Personally, I can't wait to see the transformation as we hit spring - to see the trees start to sprout, the snow start to melt, to hear the birds begin to sing again (something I hadn't realised had stopped until someone pointed it out the other day...). I also can't wait for summer - to enjoy the heat, being outside, having picnics, going to playgrounds. But in the meantime, I'm going to put on my jacket, toque, scarf and gloves and enjoy the crisp white of winter!

2010

So... looks like I successfully managed to go a whole year without posting any thoughts. Something to be proud of? Doubtful.

Things have changed significantly in the last year - I have a new job, we live in a new city, in a new country, but thankfully our family is still the same (although we're older and hopefully better connected)

I feel like my blog is an opportunity for some people I'm meeting to get to know me a bit better, and for people I used to spend more time with to keep up with some of what's going on. Inspired by Sam Javanrouh I am also going to try and keep my camera closer and keep more of a visual record of our life. Here's one example from a trip to High Park with Josh on Wednesday (many of the photos on my flickr page are better, but this is the most recent...):


In the spirit of a new year, it's also worth pondering what things will be like in 12 months time. 2009 brought a lot of changes for us, most of which I would not, had you asked me at this time last year, have thought were even on the radar. I wonder what life will be like at the start of 2011, and how much influence I will have exerted over that. Obviously some things will unfold around me (which I feel is important - I'd like to continue the journey of letting things go...), but I'd also like to think that I've purposefully moved from where I am now to where I am then, rather than it just happening by accident. We'll see.

a moment?

One of my first blogs was about Bobby, the movie about Robert F. Kennedy, and some questions it raised for me about whether people are aware, in the moment, of the impact they (and particularly their words) may have on history.

Today has been a monumental day, and I feel humbled and honoured to have been able to watch as Barack Obama was elected to be the 44th President of the United States of America.  In reflecting in the hours that have passed since his victory speech, I've been thinking back to those early musings, and have continued to wonder about people's awareness in these moments.  I think (hope) that we're all aware of the significance of Obama's speech, and the potential for it to enter into history as one of "those" moments - the "yes, we can" element of the speech, in particular.  

What has also struck me, though, is that it is a moment of hope.  Hope that was so clearly etched on the faces (and in the tears) of those who celebrated in Grant Park, Times Square, and in so many other places.  Hope that came through in Obama's speech.  Hope that maybe we stand on the edge of something great - of a restoration, of a re-ordering.  Hope that from this moment forward, things will be different.  There is no guarantee that we have witnessed one of those moments, today, but I'm sure as Obama strode out onto that platform, he was aware of the potential, aware of the hope.  

Should Obama deliver on that hope, then yes, this speech (and, I would imagine) a number of his other speeches so far, and yet to come, will indeed mark turning points.  We will, for decades to come, look back, as we do now on JFK, on Martin Luther King, Jr, on Robert F. Kennedy, and remember where we were when these events took place.

I have to confess, though that while I have hope, I have fear, also.  My greatest fear is of someone doing something stupid - as happened to each of those leaders I've just mentioned.  Yes, that will also become a moment, but it will be a moment when hope is crushed, destroyed.  I also fear that Obama will be unable to deliver on the promises and hope that he's created - that the expectation of change which has swept him to the Oval Office will be insatiable, unrealistic, and, in the end, undeliverable.

Let's pray I am wrong on both counts, and that hope wins the day.

what josh is teaching me about God #8

Yesterday, Ali and I took Josh to his orientation afternoon at school, which he starts next year.  Josh met his teacher, spent some time in his room, while we went with the other parents and were given info on what we needed to get ready, forms we needed to fill out, etc.  Needless to say, it was a bit of a rollercoaster arvo - excitement for Josh, encouragement about what a great school he's going to, but also realisation that our little boy is growing up, that we're heading into a very different phase of life and parenting, that there are going to be some challenges ahead.

As Ali and I were talking about it last night, I said that it's a strange pivot point as parents.  In some ways, we've spent the first 5 years of Josh's life "reeling him in" - trying to teach him boundaries, set foundations, teaching him control.  From next year, in effect, we begin the process of letting him back out - allowing him to become more and more independent over the coming years, in the hope that by the time he finishes at school, he'll be able to stand on his own two feet.

As often happens during these reflections, my mind then turned to the way in which my fatherhood is a reflection of my relationship with God.  Through this, I began to think about the faith journey, and wondered if there is some correlation here.  Is it possible that the first part of our faith journey is about God teaching us the basics, giving us boundaries, setting foundations, learning self-control?  Then, as we grow, God begins to "let us back out", to trust that the heart-work that's been done has prepared us to be able to stand on our own feet a bit more.

Now, I fully realise that in saying this, it could be perceived that I'm implying that God wants us to stand without him, but I'm not.  I'm simply pondering whether part of the maturity process (including God allowing us to go through difficult times, where our faith is tested) is related around a similar type of pivot point.  

Again, perhaps the first phase of our journey of faith is very much like the first 5 years of life - learning to walk, to talk, to write, to comprehend, and, in the midst of that, to learn that life is not a free-for-all, but there are boundaries that we need to live within, if we are going to function as part of society.  But that's not the end.  God gives us the opportunity to "start school" at some point - to begin to put into practice the things we've learned, continue to grow, continue to expand, discover what it means to live for others, not just ourselves.  

lusting after church

In recent times, I've had some conversations with different people who are thinking about where they're at in their involvement with their church.  Sometimes, I find these conversations difficult, because, as a shaper in a church, I have a vested interest in what we're doing at CitySoul, and obviously believe strongly in what we're doing, and the way we're doing it.

My tendency is to hold back talking about what we're doing, particularly with people who are struggling in the communities they are currently part of, because I want them to work through the issues, and help their church become even more healthy, rather than just up and leaving.  In one of these recent conversations, I found myself saying something which I think is a helpful analogy, and which I've since used a couple more times.  

In some ways, being part of a faith community is like being in a relationship (hopefully it's a lot like being in a lot of relationships, but bear with me...)  When you are in a relationship with someone, it doesn't matter how attractive anyone else is, while you are in the relationship you're in, you should not be looking, and especially not lusting...  

Yes, there are times when it's tempting, but if you're in a relationship, you should be focussed on working through any issues, resolving problems, looking to strengthen that relationship, not find an easy out by chasing after someone else who might seem more attractive.  The reality is that all relationships require hard work, dedication, and, as far as I know, all people have issues of some sort, so while the change might be nice for a while, the gloss will wear off (and is it even possible you are the cause of some of those problems... so won't you take them into any other relationship you head into?)

Now, if the relationship is not working, is not going anywhere, is harmful, etc, then you need to leave that relationship, and it's at that point that you can begin to look at who else is around (but it's still important to work through the issues that caused the breakup).

I think it would be helpful if more people had those concepts in mind as they thought about their involvement with any given church.  While you are a part of that church, you are in a relationship, and it doesn't matter how attractive other churches are, you're "taken", so stop lusting!  All churches have people in them, and if they have people, that means there are going to be issues.  Some communities might hide them better than others, or for longer, but there will be issues somewhere (even with CitySoul!).

Now, again, if that relationship is not working (and there are times when it is absolutely appropriate to end a relationship and move on, for the benefit of both parties), then aim for a healthy close to the relationship, work through the issues that caused the "breakup", and once that chapter has closed, only then should you start looking at what else is around.

imagine if... #2

I did say I was going to do some regular blogs on the theme of "imagine if..."  So, here's number 2...

Jesus says that the Dream of God (Kingdom) is like a farmer who throws seed into a field, then is amazed as it pretty much grows on its own - he doesn't really know how it happens, but the soil grows a sprout, then a stalk, then a head, then a full head of grain, so he harvests it (Mark 4:26-29)

Imagine if we functioned that way - not that we don't put any effort in at all - the farmer had to plant the seed (which, I think it's fair to assume means he'd prepared the ground first), but that we set up environments for growth to occur organically, then sit back in amazement at what God does around us.  And creating an environment for ourselves to grow (what's my soil like right now?  what seed have I scattered around the place lately?), as well as talking about creating environments for others to grow.

Organic is one of our key values at CitySoul, and is becoming a bigger and bigger part of my thinking and understanding.  Organic means natural, not forced, slow growth... the farmer, in some ways couldn't have sped up the process (and we all know how fake and less alive food tastes when the growth process has been sped up...)  

Imagine if we were more focused on creating environments (preparing the soil, scattering seed) where growth can organically occur.  Imagine if we were more content to realise that (whether we sleep or get up, as Jesus' story says) God is growing the seed.  Imagine if we would allow ourselves to be surprised (and blessed) by God more often as we scratch our heads and say "how did that grow?!" 

Imagine if...

reality bites...

There's a lot of talk (and, disappointingly, some champagne corks) around the place at the moment about the impending death of the emerging church (see here, here, here and here for just a few examples).  I've spent a bit of time over the last few years reading, listening to and watching some of the emerging church discussions, and find it interesting that the conversation has come to this point.

Think what you may of the emerging church conversation, but to me there is a bigger issue at stake, and that is one of authenticity.  In the end, the more I reflect, the more I think we as Christians need to place an exceptionally high premium on authenticity.  

At one of our CitySoul feasts a few weeks ago, we spent some time considering this idea of authenticity, and for me, some of the really helpful thoughts came out of discussions about what is not authentic, ie what is fake.  As you think about what is fake, you start to think about mass-production, copies, trickery, pretending to be something you're not, plastic... 

Authenticity on the other hand is about being genuine, about originality, the real deal.  

With that in mind, the question of emerging church (or any other "form" of church, for that matter) can become a distraction from pursuing what it means to authentically follow Jesus - individually and corporately.  Trying to "become" (or not become) an emerging/[insert other label] church flies in the face of what it means to say as a community "what does it mean for us, together, to follow Jesus?" (which obviously flows on from understanding that for yourself.)  If that looks (or smells...) emerging, then it's not going to die, because it's genuine for the people who are part of your community.  If it looks traditional, then it's not going to die, because it's genuine.  If it's something new (or old), but it's real, and people are encountering and seeking to become more like Jesus, that would seem to decrease the likelihood that it will becoming a fad, a trend, or a fake.

I wonder what would happen if we spent more time focussing on, talking with and giving opportunities to the people who are part of our communities, helping them discover what it means for them to follow Jesus authentically, and less time either looking at what others are doing and trying to copy that, or looking at what others are doing in the hope it will fail.